


A Recipe For Love

by padfootagain



Category: Chronicles of Narnia (Movies), Chronicles of Narnia - All Media Types, Chronicles of Narnia - C. S. Lewis
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Narnia, Romantic Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-15 05:02:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 44,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16926987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/padfootagain/pseuds/padfootagain
Summary: Your life was quiet, working in the Royal Kitchens and craving for a chance to become a cook. But your whole world changes when your eyes meet the King’s gaze…





	1. Secrets Of The Royal Kitchens

**Author's Note:**

> Series complete. Tons of fluff and a little bit of angst. Hope you like it! Tell me what you think about it!

It was one more day of hell in your miserable life. Your dream was to become a cook, but for now, all you were allowed to do in the Royal Kitchens was to clean plates.

You loved cooking, you had always loved it. It was your passion. When you needed to think, you made warm soups, when you were sad you made cakes, when you were happy you invented brand new recipes. You wanted to spend your life with your hands covered with flours and stained with sauce. But before you had to ‘learn what it meant to work in the Royal Kitchens’ as the main cook had told you. So for now you were condemned to clean up the kitchens or the dirty plates. You were barely paid enough to get by. You lived in the worst part of the Castle, that was dusty and cold. And it had been a year now since you had started to work in the castle. To be honest, you had thought that you would be cooking after a year there.

But dreams didn’t always come true, clearly.

You looked outside at the falling snow. It was December, in a few weeks it would be Christmas, your favourite time of year. You smiled at the thought of hot chocolate and oranges.

You started when the raspy voice of the main cook, Eliza, reached your ears.

“Y/N!” she called, shouting, as usual.

You had wondered for a while if Eliza wasn’t partially deaf, which would have explained why she always shouted, even if you were standing in front of her. But she had gone mad once at two women who were chatting softly instead of drying the spoons, so you guessed that it was just something that she liked really, ruining other people’s hearing…

“Martha is sick,” she said. “You’ll replace her for the service tonight in the Dining Room.”

Your eyes grew wide.

“You mean… with the King?” you asked, panicking.

You had never met the King. You spent your days and nights here in the kitchens, one of the places where the King never went to. You reckoned he had more urgent matters to take care of anyway.

“Yes, with the King. Who else eats in the Dining Room but the King and his closest advisors?!”

Eliza took you by the arm, and dragged you towards the wooden table at the centre of the room.

“You must arrange this hair of yours,” she commanded, giving you a piece of clothing that you would use to keep your hair away from your face. “Don’t talk. Do whatever the King orders. You are in charge of the King, so don’t mess up.”

“The… the King?” you breathed. “But… I’ve never served before…”

“Martha is usually in charge of the King, and so are you for tonight. It’s easy : you don’t speak, you stand straight on the left of the table, against the wall. If the King wants anything, you give it to him. Until the King is not done with his meal, you don’t move. Understood?”

You nodded slowly, your eyes round with fear.

“After all… you wanted to prove yourself, right?” Eliza said with a wicked smile. “Well, start by doing great tonight, and perhaps we will talk about this cooking of yours again.”

“Really, you would give me a chance?” you asked, your eyes now full of hope.

“I said we would talk about it,” Eliza replied coolly.

But you didn’t care, it was a step towards your goal…

“I won’t let you down. I promise, I won’t disappoint, Mrs. Eliza.”

“Arrange this dress of yours first.”

“Yes, Madam.”

You hurried towards your best friend, and she helped you getting ready, arranging your dress and your hair for you.

“You’re going to meet the King!” Sandra shrieked in excitement.

“What if I do something wrong?” you started to panic again.

But Sandra put her hands on your shoulders, forcing you to calm down.

“Relax, I’m sure you’ll be just fine.”

“Everyone in position!” Eliza ordered in a shout.

You and Sandra exchanged a smile, and you took your position near the door.

“Y/N, you go first,” Eliza instructed, giving you a plate full of stew. “Wait for my signal to enter the room, I’ll be right behind you. Stop right before you reach the doors of the Dining Room.”

You nodded, walking out of the kitchens and towards the room where you would serve the King.

You thought you would faint…

“Hey, Y/N.”

You turned around, listening to Amanda. She was the oldest woman working in the kitchens, and she was also the kindest.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll be fine. I’ll be right next to you, so just do what I do, and everything will be fine.”

“Thank you so much,” you breathed.

“Don’t worry, we’ve all been through this.”

You stopped before reaching the doors of the Dining Room, just like Eliza had instructed, and you waited for her to arrive.

Eliza took a look inside, and gave you a quick nod.

You took a deep breath…

Stop panicking.

Stop panicking.

Stop panicking…

You walked inside.

You were used to the largely decorated room, and the carved pillars, and the wooden furniture. You often cleaned the room after the Lords had had their meals. But you had never seen it with people sitting around the large wooden table.

You recognized him in a second. Not because he was sitting at the furthest end of the table, nor because his chair was the tallest and the most richly carved. You recognized him by the way he was sitting, very straight and yet elegantly. You recognized his sharp jaw and gentle expression, his cheeks covered with a short beard, his long dark hair let loose around his face.

Hell, you had never seen a man as handsome as him in your entire life…

He was listening closely to one of the soldiers who sat on his right, and he didn’t notice you when you walked in.

You stopped right next to him, waiting for Amanda to give you a sign, and she slowly nodded, putting her plate before the lord before her.

So you delicately put down the plate before the King, trying not to disturb him.

But he should have finally sensed your presence, because he glimpsed at you.

“Thank you,” he said.

But then his glimpse turned into a glance, as his dark eyes were rising to your face.

And you lost yourself in his dark eyes. At the mere light of the candles, they seemed almost black. You felt a strange sensation in your stomach, and your heart suddenly rushed under your ribcage.

You were frozen on the spot, unable to move nor look away from his dark eyes. And it seemed that he was in the same state as you, because the soldier next to him had stopped talking, apparently conscious that his King wasn’t paying attention to him anymore.

You saw his eyes roam your face, get down to your neck until they hit the barrier of your collar, and climbed up again all along your skin. He looked at your eyes once more.

You had never felt that way before, it was like the whole world was gone, and you were left alone with these two dark eyes…

You started at the feeling of Amanda’s hand on your arm, and you blushed fiercely, suddenly aware of where you stood and who you were staring at.

He was the King of Narnia. The last thing you needed was to have a crush on the most important and powerful and unreachable man in the whole Kingdom.

You walked to the wall, following Amanda. She bent down, picking up a bottle of wine, and you did the same, picking up the bottle that had been set right next to the spot where you were meant to stand.

When you looked up again, Caspian was still staring at you, his lips slightly parted.

You wondered if he wanted something, but then the soldier next to him touched his arm and he jumped, before looking at him again.

He kept on throwing discreet glances at you though.

You saw him take his fork in his hand, but he didn’t touch the food. When all the others had already almost finished their plate, he hadn’t touched it yet. At your feet, on your left, there was the little cake that you were meant to bring him as dessert. You wondered what you were meant to do.

Next to you, Amanda walked to the table to serve the Lord some red wine and you couldn’t help but notice that Caspian threw him a dark glance when he commanded to have more wine by simply rising his glass above his shoulder, without a glance at Amanda.

You heard him thanking Amanda in the Lord’s stead.

Then it was time to bring the dessert to the Lords and soldiers who asked for it. You sent a questioning look at Amanda, wondering if you were supposed to bring the King his dessert as well even if he hadn’t eaten anything yet, but she shook her head. So you remained standing against the wall, waiting patiently.

Suddenly, the shushed conversation became more heated, and you couldn’t help but pay attention to the Lords’ words.

“My King, this is an excellent proposition,” a General told Caspian. “It is fair and honest…”

“I said no,” Caspian replied, leaning in his chair.

“It would ensure us peace for long years…”

“We are at peace with the Kingdoms in the North,” Caspian replied.

“Because we won the war we fought against them,” one of the Lords replied. “But they don’t trust us. We are still endangered by them.”

“I won’t do it,” Caspian said again.

“It would ensure peace,” the Lords replied. “Why does it repulse you so much? It is very common, and many Kings before you have sealed this kind of arrangement…”

Caspian rose, walking to the window.

For a moment he stood still, his eyes fixed on the snow falling upon the Royal Gardens.

“It would also be the solution to another problem that you seem to have underestimated for these past few years, Your Highness,” the General added slowly.

“And what could that be?” Caspian asked.

But his voice was sharp and cold as steel now, and even you could feel that he was angry. Dangerously angry. The kind of frozen and calm anger that was much more dangerous than a burning volcano.

“You have no heir, My Liege,” the General said softly, his voice soothing.

But when Caspian turned towards him, he knew he had gone too far.

“I am not a piece of meat that you can put down on the table for a trade,” Caspian replied, and his voice was so cold and menacing that you felt yourself shaking. “And I will marry who I choose.”

“I only try to advise you, My King…”

“Your advice is noted. Now, I reckon that this meal lasted long enough, gentlemen.”

Everyone around the table suddenly stood up, and all the women from the kitchen walked towards the door as well, carrying their bottle of wine with them.

But when you made a movement towards the door, you saw the face of Eliza appear at the door, and she shook her head.

So you nodded, and took back your place against the wall, waiting until Caspian would tell you to leave.

“Close the door behind you,” Caspian ordered to the last of his advisers as he exited the Dining room.

You were now alone with the King in the large room. The warm fire cracking in the hearth was the only sound that could reach your ears. Caspian had turned towards the window again. You looked at him as he stood there, his shape standing before the snowy night. He was wearing high boots, some leather pants and a long tunic of a dark red shade, embroidered with golden threads.

Your heart was beating faster again…

You were so focused on him that you didn’t realize that the bottle was slowly slipping from your fingers, until it was falling to the ground with a loud noise.

Caspian jumped, turning around in the blink of an eye, his reflexes sharpened by long years of fighting.

When he recognized you he frowned hard, and you didn’t dare to move, not even to pick up the bottle from the ground.

“What are you still doing here?” he asked.

But his tone was not angry nor cold anymore. His voice was deep and warm like the summer sun.

“I…” but it seemed that all the air had been stolen from your lungs, and you couldn’t find the nerves to talk to the King.

He slowly walked towards you, and every step he took brought him closer to you, and at each of his step your heart was beating faster, your knees now trembling. Although, you knew your reactions were not caused by fear, you couldn’t yet explain them actually.

“Where is Martha?” he asked softly.

You seemed terrified by him. He didn’t want you to be scared. But well, he guessed that you were merely impressed by the fact that he was King. It was one more reason for him to wish he wasn’t King at all…

“She… she’s…. sick,” you stuttered.

He nodded slowly.

“So you’re replacing her?” he asked.

You nodded, unable to summon enough strength to speak again for now.

“It must have been much of a boring night for you,” he said, smiling. “What are you still doing here?”

“Mrs… Mrs. Eliza said… I… I needed to stay until… until you told me to… leave…”

“Well, you can leave,” he said with a warm smile.

You nodded, looking down at the bottle of wine that still laid at your feet, right between the King and you. The fall hadn’t broken the glass, luckily, and the bottle was closed, so no wine had spilled on the stone floor.

“Oh… wait,” Caspian breathed, following your gaze.

You both bent down to pick up the bottle simultaneously, and your foreheads collided with a thud noise.

“Ouch…” you breathed, rubbing your painful brow.

Your eyes grew even wider…

You had hit the King with your head… Oh by Alsan’s name…

But he merely laughed, rubbing his head as well, and he picked up the bottle, before handing it to you.

“I’m sorry,” you breathed, taking the bottle.

“I’m as responsible as you are on this one,” he laughed. “Are you okay?”

You nodded, before walking in a hurry towards the door, wishing that you could escape from this nightmare. How could you humiliate yourself so damn much…?

“Wait.”

You froze at the sound of his voice, turning towards him again.

“What’s your name?” he asked softly.

You could see a slightly reddened circle on his forehead, but it didn’t seem to bother him anymore.

“Y/N,” you breathed.

“You work in the kitchens, Y/N?” he asked softly.

You nodded.

He kept staring at you for a while, until he shook himself out of his thoughts, and gave you a warm smile.

“Good night then, Y/N.”

“Good night.”

You ran to the door this time, opening it in a hurry and closing it behind you. You rested your back against the cold wood for a moment, gathering yourself and trying to make your heart slow down.

Sandra would never believe you…

———————————————————————————–

Caspian turned in his bed for what seemed to be the hundredth time. He couldn’t find peace. His mind was swirling with thoughts, with fears, with questions, with doubts…

And in the middle of it all, there was your face that remained stuck on his eyelids.

He didn’t know why he felt this way, but it seemed to him that you were connected somehow. That there was something about you that drew him to you. He had this feeling in his stomach that you were special, that your paths were meant to cross. And the way his heart had stopped at the sight of you, standing there…

He had never felt this way for anyone before.

He heaved a deep sigh, throwing his blankets away, picking up one of them to protect himself from the cold. He changed for his leather pants again, although he kept his large white shirt he wore to sleep, and he put on his shoes.

He walked out of his room and towards the kitchens, carrying a candle before him to see through the cold corridors. The Castle was quiet, all that he could hear was the sound of the blowing wind outside, and the snow colliding with the glass of the windows.

He knew it was stupid to go to the kitchens. You were probably asleep, like the rest of the Castle. But he didn’t know where your room was. Anyway, it would be out of line for him to go knock on your door in the middle of the night. He just knew your name after all, nothing more.

So he had this crazy hope that for some reason you would be down there, unable to sleep just like him.

When he entered the corridor leading directly to the kitchens, he heard a strange noise, like something falling to the ground. He breathed deeply the scent of orange and melted chocolate.

The door was not completely closed, and he could see that there was some light inside.

He took a deep breath.

He was nervous. He was feeling like a child all over again. He was afraid to go and talk to you. He reckoned it was quite ironical, he was the most powerful man of Narnia, and he was scared to talk to a young woman who worked in the kitchens…

Somehow, he was scared he wasn’t good enough for you, that you would not want to talk to him at all, that you would run away just like you had done earlier that evening when you had fled out of the Dining Room.

Anyway, perhaps it wasn’t even you in there. Perhaps it was someone else. This… Eliza you were talking about…

He rested his hand on the doorknob, gathering his courage.

Slowly, very slowly, he opened the creaking door.

“Is there anybody in there?” he asked softly, not wanting to scare you by entering without being announced.

When he saw you turning towards him with wide eyes, your hands covered with chocolate and sugar, his heart skipped a beat, and he felt a strange sensation in his stomach. Was it what the books called 'butterflies in the stomach’?

“Your Highness… would you like something?” you asked, slightly out of breath.

His hair was a mess, he had a large blanket thrown upon his shoulders and his shirt was loose around his body. But hell, he was so handsome…

“I… I was just hoping I could steal something to eat,” he answered with a smile. “After all I… didn’t… didn’t eat much at dinner.”

He bit his tongue as he heard himself stuttering.

“We still have some stew. And the cake we had prepared for tonight,” you proposed.

“What are you cooking?” he asked, closing the door behind him and walking inside the room.

But he froze at the sight of your expression, you seemed all panicked again.

“I mean… unless you would prefer me to leave you alone,” he said, taking a step back towards the door.

“Of course not, Your Majesty…” you breathed.

“Caspian,” he interrupted you.

“I beg your pardon?” you frowned.

“My name is Caspian,” he smiled. “And I’d prefer if you could stop using so many… richly decorated expressions, if you don’t mind.”

“You… you want me to call you… by your name?” you asked, aghast.

“Well… that’s usually what people do,” he smiled. “But if it makes you feel uncomfortable…”

“No, no. I’m just… a bit surprised. I mean… women like me don’t usually get to call the King by his name.”

“Women like you?”

“I mean… women who just… work here. In the Castle.”

“Well I… I’d like you to call me just Caspian.”

“All right… Caspian.”

You exchanged a smile.

“So? What are you cooking?” he asked again.

“I… I am trying a new recipe,” you answered.

“What is it?”

“A cake. Chocolate and orange.”

“Like Christmas.”

You smiled.

“I love Christmas,” you answered in a whisper.

“Me too. It’s my favourite time of year.”

“Me too.”

You exchanged a smile again, and Caspian took a new step inside the kitchen. And as you were still smiling, he kept on walking until he was on the other side of the wooden table upon which you were baking.

“It’s almost ready,” you said, taking a look at the cake that was being cooked into the oven behind you. “Would you like to try it?”

“I would love to,” he grinned.

“Would you like something else while we wait? Some stew perhaps? You haven’t eaten anything at all.”

“No, thank you.”

He noticed that the cauldron full of stew was right next to him, he turned his eyes away immediately.

“I hate stew actually,” he said softly.

“Really? Why didn’t you say so? We would have prepared something else.”

“Everyone else in the Castle loves it.”

“But we could prepare something else just for you.”

He smiled, looking down at the table. He started to play with a little piece of chocolate, making it roll between his fingers.

“You’re very kind,” he said. “But there’s no need to make such an effort for me.”

“Well… you’re the King. I reckon that if we don’t make it for you, then we will never make it for anyone.”

A sad smile slowly appeared on his lips, but it quickly faded.

“My uncle used to make me eat all of it when I was a child,” he breathed. “He said a man should learn to deal with things he hates, and that if I couldn’t eat this stew without a wince, then it was because I was weak.”

You intensely stared at him. Standing still before you, his hair disheveled, holding his warm blanket around him, with this sad expression on his face… he looked almost like a child.

But then he shook himself, standing straighter, and when he looked at you, he had a smile on his face again. He ate the piece of chocolate he had been playing with, and stared at you.

“For how long have you worked here?” he asked.

“A year,” you said.

“Always in the kitchens?”

“Yes, I… clean most of the time.”

“You clean what?”

“Plates.”

You shrugged.

“Mrs. Eliza says that I have to prove myself first.”

“You wish to become a cook here?”

“Yes, Your Highness… I mean… Caspian.”

You blushed fiercely, making him smile, and he ate another piece of chocolate. He hadn’t noticed it yet, as his mind was troubled by many thoughts and worries, but he was actually starving.

“This Mrs. Eliza doesn’t sound like she’s much fun.”

You shrugged again.

“She’s the chief here,” you simply answered. “She’s very hard on us, but… I guess she just wants you and the Lords to be satisfied with our work.”

“It was the first time you served our meal, right?”

“Yes, Martha’s sick.”

“Is it serious?”

“I don’t know. But Mrs. Eliza said that she would come back tomorrow, so I guess she must have caught a cold or something of the kind.”

“I hope so.”

You nervously pushed a strand of your hair behind your ear.

“You… you were satisfied with me, right?” you asked softly.

Caspian frowned.

“I mean… Mrs. Eliza said that she would give me a chance if I served you well tonight,” you said. “So… I hope there’s nothing I did that you could want to report to her.”

“Of course not, you did very well.”

You grinned.

“That’s why you’re cooking at such a late hour?” he asked. “To get prepared for the big test?”

“Yes, exactly. And… the kitchens are never empty, except at night. So I often come here to cook on my own.”

You looked nervous again suddenly.

“I… Please, don’t tell anyone I do that,” you begged. “I don’t have the right to do it. And I could be in big trouble if Mrs. Eliza knew.”

“Mrs. Eliza will not learn a single thing from me, don’t worry,” Caspian reassured you.

You relaxed again. You didn’t seem so afraid of him now, and he was relieved at the thought that you were starting to talk to him like you would have done to anyone else in the Castle.

You fidgeted a button of your dress, and he stared at you in silence for a moment. You sounded like you were so naive, so pure. As if you were unaware of how cruel life often was. He guessed that you had never seen war, that would have explained the difference between the two of you. He had seen too much cruelty and blood in this world already to have this candid look on his face. He had lost this look a long time ago…

You suddenly turned towards your cake again, and checked that it was correctly cooked.

“It’s ready,” you said, grabbing some pieces of clothes to protect your hands from the heat, before taking the cake out of the oven.

It smelled so good…

“I’ll try first, in case it’s not good,” you said, picking up a spoon.

You planted it in the brown, almost black cake, and you took a piece of it.

You blew upon the food to avoid burning your tongue, and tasted it.

And it was perfect…

“It’s okay, you can try it,” you told Caspian, who was already holding his spoon above the cake, just waiting for your word to taste a piece of it too.

And so he put a little piece of the cake into his mouth, and he couldn’t help but close his eyes and moan.

The cake seemed to melt on his tongue, and the balance between chocolate and orange was perfect…

He hadn’t eaten anything as good in a long time…

“This is delicious,” he said, taking some more. “You really do have a talent for baking.”

You blushed fiercely, eating another piece of cake as well.

“Thank you,” you breathed. “So… it’s better than stew?”

He laughed.

“A million times better. This is so good! Do you think you could do more? I mean… for the Christmas ball for example.”

“Y… Yes,” you stuttered. “Yes, of course.”

“This is delicious.”

You kept on eating your cake for a while in silence. You were beyond glad at the thought that the King liked what you had baked. But there was this question that burnt your tongue… you knew it was out of line, coming from someone like you… but you were just too curious, and Caspian had been so nice to you for now.

“Can I ask you a question, Caspian?” you said softly.

“Of course,” he nodded, giving you a reassuring smile.

“Was it because we served stew that you didn’t eat tonight? Or was it for… other reasons?”

He looked cautiously at you.

“I would be surprised if you didn’t already know the answer. You were at dinner tonight. I’m sure you heard what happened.”

“I’m sorry… it wasn’t the kind of question someone like me should be asking to someone like you.”

A flicker of sadness passed through his eyes. He reached for your hand across the table, and you shivered in a delightful way under his touch.

“Stop talking like that,” he said, his voice very soft and warm. “Like we are different you and I. Like you can’t be yourself with me and I can’t be myself with you just because we were born in different places. I don’t want you to be intimidated by me.”

“But you’re the King…”

“I’m also a man,” he breathed, his hand leaving yours, and this time the pain remained painted on his face. “Although… many seem to be forgetting that these days…”

He shook his head slowly, looking down at the cake.

“I didn’t eat because I was troubled,” he answered.

“I… I didn’t quite understand about this… wedding thing but…”

“The Lords in the northern lands are restless since we have won the war against them,” he answered, his voice colder now, as if he was fighting against anger. “They propose an arranged marriage, in order to ensure peace between our Kingdoms. They want me to marry the daughter of one of them.”

“I see,” you breathed, looking down at the cake as well.

“And I don’t want to do it,” he breathed. “I don’t want to do it… but I must do what is best for Narnia.”

He shook his head.

“I don’t know what I should do,” he said, heaving a sigh. “For now, I manage to avoid it. I don’t know if I’ll have to bend sooner or later though.”

“Then… you won’t marry for love,” you said.

He shrugged, looking up at you again, a small smile on his face.

“Well, I still hope to find another solution and marry the woman of my dreams,” he said.

You smiled back at him.

“I really hope that you do marry the woman you love,” you said. “You deserve it.”

He laughed.

“You’re not too disappointed by your King then?” he asked. “I reckon he could do better though.”

But you shook your head.

“I think you’re a very good king,” you said. “I think you’re a very kind man too.”

He smiled.

“Thank you. And I think you’re a very talented cook…”

He hesitated, but couldn’t stop the words that were forming on his tongue at this moment. Perhaps it was your smile, or the smell of the cake, or the low light in the room, or the sound of the snow still falling outside… or perhaps it was a bit of everything. Anyway, there was nothing he could do.

“… And a very beautiful one too.”

You stared at him, your cheeks flushed, and he was afraid he had gone too far. But you smiled.

“I think we should both go to sleep,” he said.

You nodded.

“I’ll just clean everything first.”

“I’ll help you.”

“No, it’s okay.”

“It’s late, and you’re just as tired as I am…”

“No, please. I’ll do it.”

He nodded slowly, giving in.

“As you wish then. Good night, Y/N. And thank you again for the succulent cake.”

“Good night, Caspian.”

He walked out of the kitchen with no thought in his mind but the desire to crawl back into his warm bed.


	2. Midnight Dreams And Cooking Skills

You didn’t talk to anyone about what had happened with Caspian during the night, not even to Sandra or Amanda. One of the reason why you kept it a secret was that you were afraid that Mrs. Eliza could learn about the fact that you used the kitchen during the night. And the other was that… somehow you couldn’t convince yourself that all of this was real.

When you walked into the kitchen that afternoon, Mrs. Eliza was the first to spot you, and she rushed towards you.

“Y/N!” she called, just as loud as usual. “Martha is still sick. So you’ll do the service again tonight.”

“Did I do any mistake last night?” you asked.

“No, none. On the contrary, you were very good.”

“Then… can we discuss… maybe… about this test that you wanted to give me.”

Mrs. Eliza looked at you intensely.

“Help them with the food for tonight first,” she said.

You nodded, grinning. Because she hadn’t said no, which was definitely a very good sign. So you walked to the table, ready to help. You took a look at the ingredients and you recognized the recipe in a second.

“Are we cooking stew again?” you asked.

Amanda nodded.

“Apparently some of the Lords asked for some stew again. I don’t know which one though.”

“He hates stew…” you breathed, an idea slowly dawning in your mind.

You hurried towards Mrs. Eliza again, not caring about the questioning looks Sandra and Amanda threw at you.

“Mrs. Eliza?”

“What is it again?”

“I’ve seen that we are cooking stew again, and I thought of some test you could give me.”

“I reckon that _I’m_ the one who has to do decide about your test,” she snapped.

But you were tired of waiting…

“Perhaps I could cook the meal for the King.”

She laughed at you. But you didn’t back away. Instead you went on, speaking loudly enough for her to hear you despite her mad-like laugh.

“The King doesn’t like stew.”

Mrs. Eliza froze, her laugh getting caught in her throat.

“What?!” she asked urgently.

“Yesterday night, he told me he didn’t like stew.”

“Why did he not say so before?” she asked, suspicious all of a sudden. “You’re not lying, child, right?”

“Of course not,” you replied. “He told me that it was why he hadn’t eaten anything, but he didn’t want to bother us by making us prepare something different from what we served for the other Lords.”

Eliza seemed to be thinking for a moment, before a wicked smile would appear on her lips.

“Why not?” she said. “But I’m warning you, if you disappoint the King, you can pack your things and leave this castle!”

You nodded frantically, a grin on your face.

“I won’t disappoint you, Mrs. Eliza.”

“I hope so. Well, you’d better start now then.”

You turned on your heels and hurried to pick up the ingredients you would need. You chose the best pumpkin, picked up so cream, some salt, a bit of cinnamon…

You had lots of work to do and very little time. But you were ready to face the challenge.

————————————————————————————————–

You advanced in the richly decorated room again. You walked towards his tall silhouette, your heart skipping a beat at the sight of him. He was wearing a brown shirt tonight that matched his dark eyes and… he was…

You finally walked next to him, and this time he didn’t only threw a glimpse at you, but looked up straight at your eyes, a warm smile on his face. You smiled back at him, putting down the plate before him, and he looked at the food you were offering him, frowning slightly at the sight of the orange soup. The other Lords had all been served with stew…

He looked up at you again, giving you a warm smile, and it was obvious that he was touched by the fact that you had troubled yourself to cook something else for him.

“Thank you,” he grinned.

You gave him a small nod, and walked towards the wall, picking up the bottle of wine that was set next to your feet.

But you felt a stare upon you, and you turned towards the door again.

Eliza was there. She was standing next to the door, watching silently the scene before her, staring sometimes at you, sometimes at the King, waiting for him to taste your food.

Caspian picked up his large spoon and tasted your pumpkin soup.

He couldn’t help but close his eyes.

The taste was soft and comforting, like fire in a cold night. It was warm and delicate, he could recognize the taste of cinnamon tickling his taste buds, the taste of pumpkin somehow made smooth…

It was definitely better than stew…

He looked at you again, a grin on his face, before resuming his meal.

He was the first to finish his plate, using bread to make sure there was not a single drop of soup left in his plate.

Eliza nodded to you slowly, apparently satisfied by the result of the first part of your test.

Caspian looked at you, and Amanda nudged you, so you picked up the cake that was set next to you, and you carried it to the table, while the rest of the Lords were finishing their stew. You changed Caspian’s empty plate for the cake you had baked for him, and his face brightened when he recognized the food as the same cake as the one you had eaten together the previous day.

“Thank you very much, Y/N,” he grinned. “Could I have some wine, please?”

You hurried back to the wall to pick up the bottle again, and you filled up his glass with some red wine.

He had a very nice view on your neck as you filled up his glass with the red liquid and… it was suddenly very hard for him to breathe, the same strange sensation as the one he had felt the previous night in the kitchens appearing in his stomach.

“Thank you,” he breathed as you stood straighter again, walking back towards the wall, although his eyes remained glued to you until his advisor cleared his throat, Caspian being forced to tear himself away from his thoughts again.

He picked up the little spoon set next to him, and hurried to take a mouthful of your cake.

He let out a small moan.

“Your Highness? Are you alright?” the Lord on his left asked.

You recognized him as the man who was advising Caspian to accept an arranged marriage the previous day.

Caspian nodded enthusiastically, finally swallowing his food.

“It’s delicious,” he said, pointing at his cake.

The man next to him nodded slowly.

“I’m glad His Majesty enjoys his meal so much,” he mumbled.

Caspian devoured his cake just like he had devoured his soup.

And you smiled at Eliza when she nodded again.

Everything was going smoothly until one of the Lords started to raise his voice. And after a few minutes he and the King were engaged in a vivid debate. Until the Lord pushed his luck a bit too far.

“Your Majesty, with all due respect… Don’t you want peace?”

Caspian stared at him for a moment, before speaking slowly, his voice deadly cold.

“Coming from one of the few men around this table who has never used a sword in his life, I find your remark quite out of line, Lord Emras.”

Silence settled around the table. A heavy silence that made time still, everyone in the room now focusing on the Lord and the King.

“I meant no disrespect,” Emras said.

“We’ve talked about this yesterday, and the day before. And if we keep on talking about the same thing over and over again, perhaps I should reconsider my decision not to eat alone in my chambers.”

“It is a very important matter.”

“And I have taken my decision several days ago concerning this important matter.”

“Lord Cidan arrives with his daughter in a few weeks.”

“I know that,” Caspian nodded, drinking some wine.

“So you still intend to refuse his offer and not marry his daughter?”

You looked carefully at Caspian as he slowly put down his glass and looked at the Lord next to him.

“This is exactly what I intend to do indeed,” Caspian said slowly.

The Lord clenched his jaw.

“Your Highness…”

“There are plenty of trades that could be set between our Realms that would be extremely interesting for our two countries, there is no need of an arranged marriage to seal anything.”

“But My Liege…”

“I don’t know for you all gentlemen, but I’m tired tonight.”

Before anyone could add anything, Caspian had stood up and strode out of the room. You noticed that Eliza bent as he walked before her, but he didn’t pay attention to her, and hurried in the corridor.

The Lords quickly finished their dessert in silence and left the room soon after, leaving you and your colleagues to clean up what was left of their meal.

Eliza approached you slowly.

“You apparently did well,” she said softly, and it was the first time you heard her speaking to you without shouting.

“Thank you, Madam,” you breathed, crossing your fingers behind your back.

“I want you to cook for me what you cooked for the King tonight. I’ll have a taste tomorrow afternoon. Prepare two more cakes to present to me, and another main course. Understood?”

“Yes, Madam.”

She nodded, leaving the room and letting you clean up the mess the Lords had left behind them. Amanda gave you a bright grin.

“That’s wonderful, kid!” she congratulated you.

You smiled.

“I’m sure you’ll do great tomorrow,” she reassured you, seeing how nervous you already were.

“I hope so.”

But the truth was, your last task was not the only thing that made your heart heavy.

You hoped Caspian was alright…

——————————————————————-

He turned for the thousandth time in his bed. He had closed his eyes, although he knew he would not find sleep tonight.

How could he? He could feel the knot tightening around his neck, and he knew that soon, he could not find any way to loosen the rope. Soon he would have to accept and to marry this woman he had never met…

Caspian’s eyes snapped open, and he stared at the ceiling, but he couldn’t see anything.

Somehow, he was thinking about you. He had never stopped thinking about you since the previous evening.

He bit his lower lip, hesitating… but the fight within him didn’t last for long. He quickly stood up, taking a look at the dark sky outside. But he reckoned that it was late enough, and that no one but you would be in the kitchens at this hour.

So he put on his leather trousers again, wrapping a blanket around his shoulders and he walked out of his bedroom and towards the kitchens, the trembling light of the candle he carried lighting up his path.

The door of the kitchen was closed this time, and Caspian suddenly feared that you were not there tonight…

He knocked, but heard no response, so he opened the door.

You heaved a relieved sigh at the sight of him.

“I’m sorry,” you apologized, resting a hand on your heart, a relieved expression on your face. “I thought it was Mrs. Eliza.”

He smiled back at you.

“It’s only me,” he said, closing the door behind him and walking into the room. “Are you cooking again?”

“I am,” you nodded. “Are you hungry?”

He opened his mouth but was taken aback for a second. After the wonderful meal you had prepared for him he was everything but hungry, and he had too many worries in his mind anyway. But he hadn’t thought about any excuse for him walking into the kitchen in the middle of the night.

“I am,” he nodded.

“Would you like to taste what I’m cooking, and you tell me which food you prefer? I need to present a new main course and more cakes to Mrs. Eliza tomorrow.”

Caspian nodded enthusiastically.

“You’re the one who cooked my meal tonight, right?” he asked hopping to sit upon the table.

You nodded.

“You seemed to enjoy it,” you smiled, leaning against the table next to him.

“It was delicious.”

“It was a test. I asked Mrs. Eliza to cook for you.”

“So now you have one final task to complete before being a cook?”

“I hope it’s the last one,” you nodded.

“That’s a wonderful news.”

You started to prepare a plate for him.

“What is it?” he asked softly.

“Duck. With cherries.”

“Cherries?”

You nodded, offering him the plate full of food. He took a bite. There was a vivid taste of cherry and red wine, and just a slight touch of mint…

“It’s delicious,” he nodded, taking another large piece of meat.

“I’ve prepared this also, it’s chicken. Which one do you prefer?”

He took the new plate and tasted the food again. It was spicy and joyful, it felt like swallowing a sun.

“I love this one,” he nodded again. “The other is delicious, but I love spices.”

“I’ll give her this one then,” you grinned.

He chose amongst the cakes you had baked as well, and for a moment you both remained silent while he ate another piece of your apple pie.

“Can I ask you something personal?” you finally asked softly, curiosity being too strong for you again.

“Of course you can,” Caspian nodded, his mouth full of food.

“Are you going to marry this woman they all want you to marry?”

He looked at you, and you were suddenly afraid of having gone too far…

“I’m sorry, it’s none of my business.”

But he gave you a reassuring smile.

“I hope I won’t have to do it,” he breathed.

“It seems to make you really sad.”

“If you were forced to marry a man you have never met, wouldn’t it make you sad too?”

“Probably.”

“I’ve always wanted to marry for love. I won’t give up without giving all of them a fair fight.”

The two of you exchanged a smile.

“This woman they want you to marry… she’s going to come here, in Narnia? Right?”

“In a few weeks, yes, with her father.”

“I hope you find another way.”

He smiled, before looking at all the cakes you had baked.

“Are you tired?” he asked.

“No, not really,” you answered earnestly.

“Let me show you something,” he said, jumping off the table.

You frowned slightly.

“I already know what makes you happy,” he said softly, “so now, let me show you what makes _me_ happy.”

You smiled, nodding your head, and you followed him as he walked out of the kitchens. He guided you throughout the corridors covered with shadows, the little candle he had brought with him the only light to guide the two of you. You kept on climbing and climbing until you reached one of the highest rooms of the castle, and he opened wildly the window. You frowned hard as he stepped onto the roof covered with fresh snow.

“Caspian? Where are we going?” you asked softly.

He turned towards you, offering you his open hand, a smile on his lips.

“Trust me,” he answered, his voice just as soft as yours.

You slowly slipped your fingers in his large palm, and he helped you to step onto the roof.

The cold air immediately made you shiver, but Caspian quickly wrapped his blanket around you, resting his hands on your shoulder.

“Come on, just a bit further,” he said, guiding you across the flat roof.

With just a few more steps, you gasped at the scene before your eyes.

You could see far beyond the walls of the castle. You could see the treetops covered with white snow, and further away the corn fields for now left empty and white. And you had a very clear view on the whole sky…

“It’s beautiful…” you breathed, staring at the bright stars.

Caspian smiled, his dark eyes still fixed on you.

“You are…”

You froze, and slowly turned towards him. And he suddenly realized what he had just said, panic rising inside him and making it hard for him to breathe.

“… right,” he added in a hurry. “You’re right. It is beautiful, isn’t it?”

Both of you blushed fiercely, before chuckling. You threw a shy glance at him before focusing on the sky again, a smile still stuck on your lips, and he looked away as well, his cheeks redder than ever.

“Let’s sit down a minute,” he proposed, and you both sat on the roof covered with a thin layer of snow.

You caught him shivering, and you took off the blanket in a hurry, handing him the warm cover again.

“You’ll freeze out here,” you said.

“I’m just fine, keep it or you’ll get cold,” Caspian shook his head.

“Let’s share it then. You’ll be sick.”

Caspian was too cold to argue, and he let you unfold the blanket. You sat closer to him so that both of you could wrap the blanket around your shoulders, and you and Caspian exchanged a smile.

Your arm was touching his, and your leg brushed his and… you could barely breathe. You could feel the warmth oozing from his body warming up the blanket that covered the two of you.

His fingers slowly brushed against yours, and you didn’t push him away when he intertwined his fingers with yours.

After a few minutes of silence, you slowly rested your head on his shoulder, wondering if you were going too far, but he didn’t react. Actually, his heart was beating way too fast…

“I love stargazing,” he said, feeling the need to talk and speaking the first thing that crossed his mind.

“I know nothing about the constellations,” you admitted. “Although, I often look at the sky at night, especially when I had a hard day.”

“Me too.”

He pointed at a star and started to speak about the constellations, about stories and legends that were told about the shining lights and you spent the night listening to him, laughing with him…

After a while you finally started to fall asleep against him, and when you both walked back inside the castle, it was almost dawn.

“I’ll walk you back to your room,” he said softly, but you gave him a reassuring smile.

“No need, I’ll find my way back. Thank you, I spent a lovely night thanks to you.”

“I spent a lovely night as well,” he smiled back at you.

“Good night.”

“Good night.”

But you both remained still for a while, your eyes fixed upon his and his eyes fixed upon yours and the time was still all around you and…

You didn’t want to leave.

And he didn’t want to leave either.

But you needed to get a few hours of sleep before your final test, so you eventually tore your stare away from you, looking down at the ground.

“Thank you again for the stories, and for showing me this place,” you breathed.

“Thank you for the food, and thank you for your company. Moments like this are becoming rather rare these days…”

“What kind of moments?”

“Moments when I can be myself.”

You looked up at him again, and you exchanged a warm smile.

“I’m glad you’re being yourself with me,” you said, and he could read in your eyes that you were earnest.

Eventually, you looked away again, and you turned around, walking back to your room.

When you finally fell asleep, you dreamt of him.

And when he finally fell asleep, he dreamt of you.


	3. Private Lessons

Mrs. Eliza looked at the piece of chicken carefully, meticulously studying the meat. You wondered what all this attention was about to be honest.

She finally took a bite, and your heart froze in your chest.

She chewed the meat for what seemed like forever. She was focused clearly.

She tasted the soup you had prepared for Caspian, but the same unreadable expression was painted on her face. Then she tasted the cakes, but still not a sound would leave her lips.

You were biting so hard on your lower lip, you forced yourself to stop, sure that you would end up cutting your lip.

She finally put down her spoon after having tasted the last piece of cake you had presented to her.

She looked at you for a moment, before nodding slowly.

“We might make a cook out of you,” she said slowly.

You grinned.

“Really? So you’re taking me as a cook?” you asked, excitement making your voice tremble.

Mrs. Eliza nodded.

“I’ll give you a chance. But don’t disappoint me!”

“Thank you so much! I won’t disappoint you, I promise!”

“Martha is healed, she’ll serve tonight. You’ll cook. I want that chicken of yours for tonight.”

“Yes, Madam!”

“And stop being so annoyingly excited.”

“Yes, Madam. Sorry, Madam…”

She pointed at the door, and you immediately walked out of the kitchens. In the corridor, Amanda and Sandra were waiting for you. You started to jump up and down in excitement.

“She said yes?” Sandra asked, a smile already beginning to form on her lips.

You nodded, and the two women hugged you, shrieking in excitement.

“I’m so happy for you, Y/N,” Amanda said.

“It’s amazing!” Sandra cried.

You were happy to share the news with them, but there was someone else you wanted to learn the news from you.

But to do that, you needed to know where Caspian was in the Castle, and to find a good excuse to go walk in parts of the building where you were not supposed to go to.

“I need to do something. Will we celebrate tonight?” she asked her friends.

“Sure, come to my room, it’s larger,” Amanda invited her two friends.

“Alright, thanks.”

“Congratulations again, Y/N!”

“Thanks. I’m sorry, I have something to do.”

“Of course, go on, then.”

You walked away, thinking about a way to find and talk to Caspian.

If he was in the throne room, you would never be able to approach him, so no need to check that room. Same for his private office.

You took a jar full of water, pretending to be carrying water for someone in particular. You checked the dining room, but he wasn’t there. You checked several rooms that were allowed only to him or his advisers, but again, he was nowhere to be found. Same result in the gardens.

You slowly walked towards his bedroom. You knew where it was, everyone in the Castle knew where it was. You couldn’t believe you were daring to go there and walk to his door and knock…

But he had been so kind to you so far, you couldn’t imagine that he could act any other way.

You arrived before the door but froze there, somehow unable to raise your hand and to knock on the wooden surface. Your heart was beating so fast in your chest, you were so scared all of a sudden.

What if you bothered him? What if he was busy? What if he wasn’t alone?

Or perhaps he wasn’t even in there and you were worrying yourself for nothing.

You took a deep breath, summoning your courage, and you knocked on the door, your hand shaking.

“Yes, come in.”

You recognized the voice in an instant. Caspian was inside. You were both terrified and happy…

You slowly opened the door, your head pocking in to peer inside the room.

He was lying on his bed, surrounded by papers and bottles of ink. He was chewing on his lip in concentration, frowning slightly.

Here, he was busy, and you were about to disturb him…

“I’m not ready, Almas.”

“I’m sorry,” you breathed, hurrying to step out again and close the door.

But he looked up at the sound of your voice, and he just had enough time to see your face disappearing in the corridor as you closed the door in a hurry.

“No! Y/N! Wait!”

You froze, the door not closed. You opened it a little more again, shyly looking inside the room once more.

“I didn’t mean to bother you,” you breathed. “You’re busy…”

“No, no it’s fine,” Caspian hurried to reassure you, sitting up, “come in.”

You slowly walked in, closing the door behind you.

You could feel that your cheeks were on fire, and indeed, Caspian smiled at the sight of your reddening cheeks.

“What can I do for you?” the King asked softly, standing up.

“I don’t want to bother you, you seem to be so busy,” you shook your head, holding on the jar tightly.

He could see that you were scared of him again. He hated seeing that look in your eyes.

He shrugged your remark away.

“It’s good to take a break,” he smiled, trying to calm you down. “Why don’t you sit down?” he added, taking a chair and setting it before his bed.

You smiled, sitting down.

“Thank you,” you grinned.

An amused smile appeared on his lips, and he took the jar from you, putting it down on the ground. It made you blush even more.

“So, what brings you here?” he asked, sitting on his bed right before you.

But then he remembered about your test.

“Is your test finished yet? How did it go?” he asked.

You nodded, your grin doubling in size.

“It went very well, I’m a cook now!”

He grinned as well.

“Really?”

You nodded.

“Mrs. Eliza is giving me a chance. Although, I’m sure she’ll be pretty hard on me, but… I have a chance!”

“That’s wonderful! Congratulations!” he grinned, his eyes shining with excitement.

You stared at each other for a moment, but it was a spontaneous gesture coming from both of you that brought your bodies together in a tight hug.

“I’m happy for you,” Caspian whispered in your ear. “You deserve it.”

“Thank you. And thank you for helping me last night.”

He chuckled.

“It was my pleasure, literally. I just had to eat delicious food. Use me as your guinea pig whenever you’d like.”

You both laughed, still holding on each other tightly.

“So… will you be serving dinner tonight again?” he asked softly.

He hoped you would say yes, but you shook your head.

“Martha is healed. I don’t need to replace her anymore.”

“Oh… I’m glad she’s fine.”

But you could have sworn that he was disappointed.

“And one other thing that’s great is that I don’t need to hide in the kitchens at night anymore,” you went on. “I have free access to the kitchens during the day, so I can work on my recipes whenever I want to!”

“Oh… that’s wonderful.”

But he didn’t sound excited anymore.

You both started as someone was knocking on the door.

You both pulled away quickly, and you stood up in a hurry and grabbed the jar again.

“Yes?” Caspian called loudly.

The Lord Almas entered, while you poured the water in a large bowl set on Caspian’s desk.

“It’s time, Your Highness,” Almas told the King, paying no attention to you.

Caspian nodded, gathering the parchments scattered on his bed, throwing discreet glances at you.

He walked to the door, and when he turned to you, he gave you a bright smile, before closing the door behind him.

You heaved a sigh.

Really, what had happened in your head to knock on his door… although, you had to admit that his embrace was the safest place you had ever been to.

———————————————

He wasn’t focused during the entire meeting. He tried to force his brain to pay attention to the Lords gathered around him, but he just couldn’t focus onto the words they spoke. And he could see in their eyes that all of them had noticed his strange behaviour. But he couldn’t help it…

All his brain could focus on was the fact that he didn’t have any good excuse to see you anymore.

He wouldn’t see you again at dinner, he wouldn’t see you in the kitchens in the middle of the night, and during the day, you would probably never be alone in the kitchens.

He hated himself for secretly wishing this test of yours to fail now, so that you would still have to train all night long. It was a selfish thought, and he hated this feeling tightening his heart, but he couldn’t control it, just like he couldn’t force his mind to settle on the meeting.

Once the meeting was over, Caspian stood up, walking to the large window, watching the gardens covered with a stainless layer of white snow. There was nobody there. No traces of footsteps left in the ice. No laugh ringing through the air. It was still and silent, as if time itself had stopped.

“Your Highness?”

Caspian spun around, facing the only one of his advisers who had remained in the room.

“What can I do for you, Lord Emras?” Caspian asked with a tired sigh.

“I was actually wondering if there was anything that _I_ could do for you, Your Highness.”

“I’m fine, thank you for your concern.”

“If I may, you seem tired. You seemed… not to be here during the meeting.”

Caspian clenched his jaw, but he could hardly deny the truth.

“I’m a bit… off today,” Caspian nodded.

“You seem worried.”

“I am.”

“Maybe you’re working too hard. You’ve been working so much those past few weeks, working on these trades with the Northern lands… perhaps you should take some time for yourself. Try… try to learn a new skill or… something of the kind.”

Caspian narrowed his eyes slightly as his brain was now working at full speed.

A small smile appeared on his face at this new idea of him Emras had alit in his mind.

“I’ve always wanted to learn how to cook,” Caspian said slowly.

“Why don’t you take a couple of hours twice or thrice a week to do so? It is a good idea, many people say that cooking easies the mind.”

Caspian nodded slowly.

“Perhaps you’re right. Perhaps I should take a bit more time for myself. It’s useless if I’m too tired to work anyway.”

“Would you like me to send words to the kitchens then? I’m sure the person in charge there could teach you.”

“Actually… The meal last night was particularly good. Could you ask for this cook to give me lessons?”

“Of course, My Liege.”

“Thank you, Lord Emras. It was a good advice that you gave me here.”

Emras grinned.

“I’ll go to the kitchens straightaway.”

Caspian waited for the Lord to leave the room, before focusing on the motionless gardens again.

A smile slowly formed on his lips.

It looked like he did have a good excuse to see you again now after all…

—————————————————————————–

Everyone in the kitchens froze. You stopped your movements as you were cutting a carrot, leaving the blade buried in the vegetable. Everyone was staring at Lord Emras.

None of the Lords ever came down to the kitchens. If they were hungry, they would just send someone and order whatever they wanted.

“Who’s in charge here?” Lord Emras asked, his tone authoritarian.

Eliza hurried towards him, bending low before the Lord.

“I am, my Lord,” she said, her voice softer than you had ever heard.

“I would need your services.”

“Anything, my Lord. What could we do for you?”

“The King has been restless these past few weeks, and he is under a lot of stress. I have advised him to take more time for himself and to try to enjoy new activities. Cooking crossed his mind.”

“The…. the King wants to cook?” Eliza asked, frowning hard in surprise, perplexed.

“Indeed. We thought that it could help him to… put his mind at peace to focus on something else than his duties.”

“Of… of course. Well, I would be honoured to teach him.”

“The King has required that the cook who prepared our meal last evening would teach him. He found the meal delicious.”

Everyone in the kitchens turned towards you. You felt yourself blush fiercely under all the attention that was suddenly focused upon you.

“Of course…” Eliza answered, failing at hiding her anger and frustration behind her gritted teeth. “Y/N will take care of it then.”

“Can this… Y/N… start tomorrow?”

“Whenever His Highness wants.”

“Tomorrow 9 o'clock then.”

And with that Emras walked out of the room, leaving you there, standing still while everyone was staring at you with eyes full of envy.

“You heard everything?” Eliza shouted at you.

You nodded.

“Don’t be late. Don’t be late or I’ll make sure that you leave this Castle. Am I clear?”

You nodded again.

But as everyone was going back to work, and you were focusing on the orange vegetable that laid partially cut on the table before you, you couldn’t refrain a little smile.

After all, Caspian had asked for you personally. You guessed that he had done this because he thought that you were talented. But a little voice in your head, full of hope, wondered if he hadn’t organized all this just because of you…

————————————————————————–

As Caspian walked towards the kitchens that morning, he was whistling happily. A smile was on his face, his heart rushing under his ribs, but in a delicious way, as his excitement made adrenaline run through his veins. He had woken up at dawn to make sure that all his work was done before meeting you, so that his mind would not be bothered by anything but you.

He knocked on the door of the kitchens, and his smile turned into a grin as you opened the door for him, his heart skipping a beat at the sight of your bright smile.

“Good morning, Y/N,” he grinned.

“Good morning,” you nodded, letting him walk inside the room.

“How are you today?” he asked, turning towards you as you closed the door again.

“I’m fine. What about you?”

“Great!”

“You’re ready for your lesson then?” you asked, a glint of mischief in your eyes.

“I can’t wait to start.”

You grinned, walking to the table. Caspian picked up an apple, and started to play with it.

“So what are we cooking?” he asked, a bright smile on his face.

“I thought we could start with something easy. So we’re baking apple pies today.”

“Apple pies? I love apple pies!”

“Let’s start then. You’ll bake one and I’ll bake one as well, so I can show you how to do it, okay?”

“Sounds perfect.”

“So first, we put flour into the bowl.”

He imitated you, putting the right quantity of the white powder into his bowl.

“Sugar next.”

“Yes, Madam.”

“What?”

“You have such an authority…”

“Don’t tease me!”

“You look cute when I tease you though.”

“I’m not cute.”

“You are, Y/N.”

“I’m not.”

“You are cute.”

You both laughed, although you were blushing by now. But your cheeks quickly found back their normal shade. You felt so relaxed with him. It was strange to say this about the company of the King, but it was true. He made you feel like you could be yourself. You didn’t feel like you were baking with the King of Narnia, you felt like you were spending a relaxed morning with an old friend.

“Let’s add the eggs,” you laughed, breaking the egg shell against the edge of your bowl.

Again he imitated you, and he did the same when you added the rest of the ingredients into your bowl.

Soon your hands and his were covered with flour and sugar and butter, but it didn’t bother you at all. He smiled as you taught him how to mix the ingredients and turn it into a proper pie dough. He had food all over his hands, but it merely made his smile.

“We’ll put that in the oven while we prepare the apples,” you said, and he helped you to put your preparations into the oven.

You both finally cleaned up your hands, but Caspian laughed as he noticed flour on your cheek.

“Come here,” he laughed, picking up a handkerchief. “How did you manage to put some of it on your cheek.”

He cleaned softly your soft skin. But his smile slowly faded as his heart started to beat faster and faster and faster…

He held your chin between his long and calloused fingers to keep your face in place while he cleaned your cheek.

But then his dark eyes met yours and he was gone for good…

You both remained frozen on the spot. There was this… this invisible rope that seemed to connect the two of you together and now you were unable to look away from his intense brown eyes. You couldn’t move, you couldn’t think, and he it was the same for him.

He brushed his thumb against your chin, caressing softly your skin. You both shivered at the sensation of his skin brushing against yours.

But you shook yourself, clearing your throat.

“Is it all gone? The flour on my cheek I mean?” you asked, your voice barely more than a whisper.

He started, your voice acting like an electroshock, and he immediately released your chin.

“Yes, you’re… you’re all good now…”

“Thank you.”

“'Welcome…”

You both let out a nervous laugh, before turning towards the table again, the two of you unable to control the way your chin tickled, and his fingers felt like they were burning, and both your hearts were beating so fast, as if they wanted to escape from your two chests so that they could meet each other halfway…

You picked up a knife and silently started to cut down an apple.

“You’re okay?” Caspian asked in a whisper.

He was so scared to have crossed a line…

“Sure. We have to cut these,” you nodded, pointing at the fruit.

Caspian picked up a knife and started to cut down an apple as well.

“Can I ask you something?” Caspian breathed, willingly to start the conversation again.

“Of course.”

“Why did you come here? Why did you want to work in the kitchens?”

You looked at him for a moment, motionless, and he could see sadness in your eyes.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to touch a nerve,” he apologized, cursing himself.

“No, it’s okay,” you shook your head and forced a reassuring smile to cross your face. “I… I come from… nowhere. And… we were poor and… cooking was the only thing I was really good at doing so I thought that I should take a chance and come here. I was just trying to have a better life really, one not so poor.”

He looked intensely at you, you could feel his dark chocolate eyes piercing right through you.

“Is it better here?” he asked, clearly concerned.

“Yes, it is,” you smiled, nodding.

“Do you need anything?”

You frowned slightly, your smile still on your lips.

“What do you mean?”

Caspian shrugged.

“I don’t know. Do you need anything? Is there anything that you would like to have and that you don’t have yet?”

You shrugged.

“Well, it’s soon going to be Christmas. I’d love to get a tree for my room. But it’s too little.”

Caspian frowned hard.

“Too little for a Christmas tree? Even a little one?”

You nodded.

“But that’s okay.”

You sneezed, making Caspian chuckle.

“You’re really cute,” he laughed at your high-pitched sound.

“Oh, shut up,” you laughed.

Caspian merely doubled with laughter. You suddenly realized that you had told the King to shut up. But it didn’t seem to bother him at all.

“Would you like to help me decorate the Christmas trees this year?” he asked softly.

“Can I?” you grinned.

“If you want to,” he nodded, chuckling again.

“I’d love to. I love Christmas.”

“I love Christmas as well.”

You finally put down your knife, ready to add the apples to your preparation.

You laughed at Caspian as he threw the pieces of fruit upon the pie dough.

“What ?” he asked.

“Try to make it look beautiful,” you laughed, arranging your pieces of apple. “Like that, you see?”

“My pie is a rebel,” Caspian shook his head.

“A rebel?”

He nodded, and you both laughed.

“You’re just tired of cooking, right?” you asked.

“A bit,” he admitted.

“So… you don’t enjoy cooking, right?”

He shrugged.

“I don’t dislike it but… I wouldn’t make my living out of it.”

“Why choose cooking then? What do you like?”

“Well, I already practice everything that deals with a sword or a bow and arrow so…”

He shrugged.

“I’ve never held a sword in my life,” you said.

“And I hope you never do.”

You stared at him.

“Why? You don’t think that a woman can fight?”

He laughed.

“Oh, I _know_ that women can fight. And I _know_ that _you_ would be probably good at it. But…”

He stopped talking, and you silently encouraged him to continue.

“You know… when I was there… when I was fighting… It’s not for me that I fought.”

You looked intensely at each other, his dark eyes capturing your soul.

“I thought about all those people in their homes who expected from me to protect them. And that’s for them that I fought. I fought to make sure that those families would be all right. To make sure that… that they wouldn’t have to fight after me. To make sure that people like you who have never seen war would never have to see it. To… to make sure that kind and… gentle people like you would never have to handle a weapon and do all those terrible things I was doing.”

He looked down at his pie, but it was obvious that he couldn’t see it.

“Teach me,” you said out of the blue.

Caspian looked up at you, frowning hard.

“Something, anything. Come on, I taught you how to bake!”

You put the two cakes back into the oven, and grabbed your rolling pin.

“Come on,” you laughed. “Just for fun.”

Caspian gave in quickly, and walked to you.

“Alright, weapon up!”

You pointed your rolling pin at him, but he merely laughed.

“Okay, first…”

He walked behind you, and held delicately your wrist, turning your hand slightly.

You swallowed hard, your skin tickling under his feathery touch.

“Your hand must be like this,” he said, “or else you’ll lose your sword at the first hit. You have to turn your waist and put your right leg before you. Further.”

He rested his hands on your waist to guide your movements.

You were certain that you were about to faint.

But his heart was beating just as fast as yours.

“Move your leg a bit more,” he said softly, guiding your hips.

You could feel his breath against your hear as he leaned to talk to you in a deep and warm voice. You thought that you couldn’t take any more of it and yet you never wanted him to pull away.

“Much better,” Caspian nodded.

He took your writs again, while his other hand remained on your waist. You took a deep breath, intoxicated by his scent.

“Here you block…” he said, pulling your wrist before your face. “Then you attack.”

He guided your arm before you, pushing slightly on your waist so that your entire body followed the movement.

“I see,” you nodded.

He let go of you, taking a step back.

“But you won’t have to use all this anyway, I’ll make sure of that,” he said, and his voice sounded like a vow to protect you.

You turned towards him. You caught his hands shaking slightly, his dark eyes fixed upon you. And there was that rope between the two of you again. You caught him looking at your lips, and you knew that Caspian saw you when you couldn’t control yourself anymore and looked at his mouths for a few seconds, before looking at his addicting eyes once more.

But he was the King and you were just a cook…

You shook yourself and turned towards the oven, but the cakes were cooked, so you quickly took them out of the oven and put them down on the table.

“At least it’s not difficult to see which pie is yours,” you laughed at him, trying to hide your rushing heart.

He laughed, clearly relaxing all of a sudden.

“You don’t like my rebel pie?” he pouted dramatically.

“I actually like it.”

You offered him a spoon. But even if you tried to laugh and act as if nothing had happened, you could feel a shift between the two of you, something… some tension that was not there before. You decided to ignore it though.

He took a bite of his own pie, shrugging.

“It’s honestly not that bad,” he smiled, handing you his cake.

You took a bite and nodded.

“It’s good,” you smiled.

He stole a piece of your cake. And he couldn’t understand why your pie was so much better than his when he had imitated you all along…

“So… would you like to have another lesson?” you asked.

He shrugged.

“I had a very good time, so why not?” he smiled.

You looked at him carefully.

“Caspian… I was wondering…”

But you fell silent, so he gave you a reassuring smile.

“What is it?” he asked softly.

“Why did you ask for me to teach you?”

He stared at you intensely.

What was is he supposed to answer? The truth, or a lie…?

“You’re very talented, and we know each other so…” he said, his tone wary.

You nodded, looking down at your fingers on the wooden table. You seemed disappointed.

Caspian felt so bad, lying like this to you…

He took a deep breath, his eyes never leaving you.

“Alright, do you want to know the real reason for all this?” he asked.

You looked up at him, nodding.

“I just…” he stuttered, staring at you, and you saw his Adam’s apple pulse. “I just wanted… to have a… a good excuse to see you.”

Your lips parted in shock, but there was a smile shyly appearing at the corners of your lips.

“Now that you’re a cook you won’t be in the kitchens at night and I… I didn’t know…” Caspian went on, nervously running a hand through his dark hair. “I didn’t know how to just come and talk to you, I didn’t know how to find you either and… it just… it’s the only idea I had to see you again so… but it was stupid, right?”

You smiled.

“Not really. I had a good time.”

“Me too.”

“But you don’t need to fake to like baking to spend time with me. I… I love spending time with you.”

You both grinned.

“Really?” he asked.

You nodded.

“Then… what about we decorate the trees for Christmas this week?” he offered. “I’ll be busy tomorrow, but… what about the day after tomorrow?”

“Okay. I’d love to do that.”

“Wonderful!”

“But do tell that all went fine, or else Mrs. Eliza will throw me out of the Castle.”

He laughed, raising his hand to your cheek.

“As long as I’m King, no one will 'throw you out of the Castle’, don’t worry.”

You exchanged a smile, and he let his hand fall back to his side, feeling his heart beating too fast again.

“I’ll see you in two day then. What about… nine o'clock. In the evening. So that we’re not bothered by anyone.”

“That sounds perfect.”

You exchanged another grin.

“I’m sorry I have to go,” Caspian apologized, now conscious of the time it was.

“It’s okay, I’ll clean up everything.”

“I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be. It’s nothing.”

“Have a nice day, Y/N,” he smiled.

“You too, Caspian.”

He walked out of the room. But your smile didn’t disappear as you cleaned up the table.

He had done all this just for you…


	4. Doctor's Orders

You felt so weak that forcing the air inside and out of your lungs was summoning all your strengths. You couldn’t understand how you could have turned so ill in such a little amount of time. The day before you were sneezing in the morning, and as the day had gone by you had started to cough harder and harder, and before the night had covered the world you were shaking with fever.

And now you were lying in your bed, almost unable to breathe. Your eyelids were too heavy for you to keep your eyes open, and anyway the world around you was all blur.

You heard Amanda and Sandra opening the door of your small room.

“Y/N?” Sandra called softly.

But you were too tired to answer.

“She looks so pale,” Sandra whispered.

“She is very sick,” Amanda nodded.

“Is there anything we can do?”

But Amanda shrugged.

You finally managed to open your eyes, and your two friends stared at you with soft glances.

“We brought you some soup,” Amanda said, pointing at the bowl and spoon she had put down on your little table.

“I need to go to work,” you breathed, but Sandra shook frantically her head.

“Are you out of your mind? You can’t work. Don’t worry, we’ll talk to Mrs. Eliza. And we’ll bring her here if she needs proof.”

You looked up at Amanda, and she immediately leaned closer to you to catch your whispered words.

“I was supposed to see Caspian tonight. You… you need to tell him that… I can’t come. Please…”

“Of course, I’ll warn him. Don’t worry.”

Your eyelids slowly fell down, covering your eyes again.

“Y/N… you need to eat something,” Sandra tried to stop you from falling asleep.

But your eyelids were too heavy, and you were too tired to eat anything anyway. You felt nauseous and every inch of your body was painful. Your chest felt so heavy as you inhaled deeply that you were not sure to have enough strength to make it rise again.

When Sandra tried to speak once more, Amanda shook her head, picking up the bowl again and pulling her friend towards the door.

“Tell Eliza about it,” Amanda told Sandra once they were out of your room again. “I’ll warn the King.”

Sandra merely nodded in response, striding away. Amanda took a deep breath, before climbing up the narrow staircase that would bring her into the Castle.

She needed to find the King.

——————————————

Caspian was overexcited. He was on a little cloud since the second he had put his bare feet upon the cold wooden floor of his bedroom, since the moment the cloud brought by sleep had freed his brain and he was able to think.

He would see you tonight.

And this time no fake excuses, no hiding in the kitchens. He had asked you if you wanted to spend the evening with him, and you had met his offer with an excited grin… and there was nothing in all Narnia that could make him happier.

His grin never left his face trough the whole morning. Even through the boring meetings, he kept the large smile stuck on his face, and none of the Lords and soldiers could understand the reason for their King’s happiness.

Caspian was walking towards the royal library, a book in his hand, whistling to himself in the deserted corridor, this bright grin still glued to his lips. Until he heard someone calling for him, and he was suddenly followed by hurried footsteps.

He turned around and waited for the old woman to join him, frowning as he recognized Amanda.

“Your Highness, I’m terribly sorry to disturb you,” the old woman said shyly.

“What can I do for you?” he asked her kindly.

“It’s about Y/N…”

Caspian frowned even harder, silently encouraging Amanda to go on.

“She can’t see you tonight. She’s sick.”

“Sick?”

Amanda nodded.

“She asked me to warn you.”

“Is it serious?” he asked, now worried.

“We… We don’t know what is wrong with her.”

Caspian suddenly clenched his jaw, a look of suspicion now painted all over his handsome face.

“You can tell her that if she doesn’t want to come tonight, she doesn’t need a fake excuse.”

“No, Your Highness, she wanted to come!” Amanda shook her head. “She’s been talking about this all day long yesterday. But she’s so sick… she can’t even stand!”

Caspian’s eyes grew wide, his lips parting slightly. And there was nothing but worry in his brown eyes now.

“Has she seen a doctor yet?”

“No, she hasn’t.”

“Where is she?”

“In her room.”

“Can you take me there?”

Amanda raised an eyebrow in surprise, but nodded anyway, and guided the King across the Castle.

Caspian had never walked through those corridors before. In the narrow staircase that led to the rooms of the domestics, he almost fell twice, the wet stones slippery under his feet.

In the corridor, Caspian could barely stand, the ceiling too low. It smelled like moist, and he shivered, the air wet and cold.

And the more he walked in there, the angrier he was.

He had no idea that some people working in the Castle lived in rooms like these…

Amanda knocked on your door, but you didn’t reply. Luckily, the door was unlocked, so she opened your door without your permission, before letting Caspian walk into your room first. But he froze on the threshold.

You were lying in your bed, your eyes closed. You were pale as sheet, a thin layer of sweat glistening on your brow. He looked at the little hearth from which no warmth was escaping despite the flames. The walls of stone were too cold, some of them were glimmering because of a thin layer of water that covered their surface. Your window was so small, there was barely enough light into the room for him to see everything clearly despite the bright sun that shone outside.

He finally shook himself, walking slowly into your room, lowering his head to avoid the ceiling.

He put down his book on the little table next to your bed that you also used as a desk, before sitting on your bed next to you. He touched the blanket, but it was so thin, for sure it couldn’t keep you warm.

He could hear that your breathing was loud and irregular. He rested his palm on your brow, and you were burning with fever.

“Y/N?” he called softly.

You slowly opened your swollen and reddened eyes, and looked up at him.

“Caspian?” you breathed.

“What’s wrong?” he asked softly.

“I’m… so tired…”

“Since when are you sick like this?”

“I was fine until last evening and now…”

You started to cough, and Caspian’s eyes grew wide at the hoarse sounds that escaped your throat. You didn’t seem to be able to calm down, so he helped you to sit up, stroking your back until your breathing was more even again. But it had made you so exhausted, you fell backwards once more, unable to remain sitting, Caspian catching you in his arms right in time, and your eyes closed again. He turned towards Amanda, who was still waiting on the threshold.

“She needs to see a doctor right away,” he said, his voice commanding now.

“I can call for him…”

“Tell him to go to my room.”

“You… Your room, Your Highness?”

“She will never heal in a place like this,” he breathed through gritted teeth.“I’ll take her to my room.”

He tenderly wrapped his arms around you and lifted you gently, making sure your head would rest on his shoulder.

“Tell him it’s an emergency,” he told Amanda, before striding out of your room and through the corridor.

He carefully climbed up the narrow staircase and strode across the Castle, cautiously monitouring the rhythm of your breathing. He didn’t pay attention to the people who came across him, who stared at him with curious glances, wondering who he was carrying like this. And you didn’t pay attention to them either. Your eyes were still closed anyway.

Caspian kicked the door of his bedroom open, and he strode to his bed. He delicately deposited you upon the soft mattress, before walking all around the room in search of his warmest blankets, and he covered you with them. He added a few logs in the hearth.

“Y/N?” he called softly again.

You opened your eyes once more, forcing yourself to focus on the sound of his voice.

You looked around at the richly decorated room, frowning hard.

“Where am I?” you asked in a shaking whisper.

“In my room,” Caspian answered softly. “It was too cold in yours.”

Your eyes closed again, and when you spoke once more, your voice was nothing but a hoarse whisper.

“Caspian…”

“I’m here.”

“I’m so cold…”

He stroked your arms in an attempt to warm you up, but soon your teeth were chattering.

“I’ll get you more blankets,” Caspian breathed, moving to stand from the edge of the bed.

But you shook your head.

“Don’t go,” you whispered, your voice begging.

He couldn’t find the will to move, not when you were pleading like this.

“You need to get warmer,” he said.

“Why… why did you come to my room?”

“You’re friend told me you were sick. I was worried about you, and… it seems like I was right to be. I called for the doctor, he should soon be here.”

But you shook your head.

“I can’t see him,” you said.

“You _need_ to see him.”

“I don’t have enough money…”

But you coughed again, although this time you were able to calm down without Caspian’s help.

“ _I_ called for him,” Caspian reassured you. “Don’t worry about money. He won’t make you pay.”

You started to push the blankets away from you, but the King stopped you.

“No, you must stay warm,” he admonished.

“It feels so hot in here…”

Caspian touched your brow again, but fever was still making your skin burn. So he poured some fresh water in a bowl, taking a handkerchief and plunging it into the water before resting the piece of clothing against your too warm brow.

You sighed at the sensation, relaxing, and the cool water cleared your mind for a moment.

“Aren’t you supposed to be… attending meetings or things of the kind?” you asked him, your voice almost breaking because of your painful throat, and you had to clear your throat before being able to speak again. “What time is it?”

“It’s not noon yet,” he answered, putting the clothes away from your brow to plunge it in the water again, and replacing it on your forehead once more. “And I’m not going to attend any meeting this afternoon.”

“Nothing planned?” you asked, surprised.

“I’m not going anywhere until you have seen a doctor.”

You forced your eyes to open once more, and you stared at the two dark orbs that were fixed upon you.

“I’m sorry for tonight,” you whispered.

“Don’t be silly. You’re sick. We’ll do this another time, once you’re healed.”

“Thank you for your help.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that you lived in that…?”

He couldn’t even find a word to describe the ridiculously narrow room that was your home.

“No wonder why you’re so sick,” he said, anger burning in his eyes now. “The walls were wet, it’s so cold in there…”

“What would you have done anyway,” you replied.

He shrugged.

“Something…” he breathed.

But he heaved a sigh, washing your brow again.

“I’ll make things better,” he said, his tone sounding like a promise.

“It’s okay. It could be worse.”

“No one in this Castle should live like this.”

But you coughed again, and he helped you sitting up until you were calmer. You were exhausted once more, and fell in his arms, your head resting against his chest. Your eyes closed again, and your breathing was harsh and irregular now.

“Wait, I’ll get you some water,” Caspian said, his voice shaking as he felt fear rising inside him at the sound of your ragged breathing.

But he was startled by a loud knock on the door.

“Come in,” he said loudly enough for his voice to cross the wooden surface.

He was relieved to find his doctor walk into the room. But the elder man frowned hard at the sight of your body nestled in his arms.

“She’s very sick,” Caspian told the old man, who walked closer to the bed.

“When did it start?” the physician asked.

“Yesterday, apparently,” Caspian answered.

“Are you sick, Your Majesty?”

“I’m fine.”

“You shouldn’t stay so close to her, it could be contagious.”

But Caspian ignored him, keeping you in his delicate embrace.

“She has fever,” Caspian went on. “She’s coughing, and she seems to be completely exhausted.”

“Let me take a look.”

He put you down on the mattress again, making sure to cover you with the blankets again, before rising from the bed.

“You can wait outside,” the doctor said gently, and Caspian merely nodded before walking in the corridor, closing the door behind him.

But he didn’t remain before the door. You were in good hands, he knew his doctor would take care of you in a much better way than he could. So instead of waiting for the physician, he strode down the corridor, walking straight towards the office where he was expected for a meeting.

He was half-an-hour late, but when he entered he didn’t apologize. The grin he wore that morning had vanished from his lips, and all that could be seen now on his face was anger.

He didn’t even walk to his chair before speaking, he merely stepped into the room.

“Gentlemen, there’s a matter we must take care of. Follow me.”

His voice was deep and cold, and the Lords knew better than to discuss their King’s orders. They merely stood up and followed him across the Castle.

“Where are you guiding us, Your Highness?” Lord Emras asked after they had crossed their third corridor.

“I discovered where the people who work in the Castle are living,” Caspian said in a voice shaking with anger and outrage. “And I am surprised to discover this only now.”

“Discover what, My Liege?”

“That they live in rooms I would consider like cells.”

“You must consider the size of the Castle…” Lord Emras tried to argue but Caspian merely froze, turning towards him, the King’s black eyes burning with rage.

“These people are under our protection. They work for us. They get up at dawn and go to sleep long after the sun is down, they do all the things we don’t have time to do ourselves… They are irreplaceable here. Do you really think that we should let them sleep in rooms so little there isn’t enough room to have a desk or a chair? Rooms in which the window is so narrow, even in plain daylight you feel like it’s night?”

“No, Your Highness,” the Lord breathed, looking down at his shoes before the wrath of his King.

Caspian resumed his walk through the Castle. He guided the Lords to the narrow staircase, and showed them your room. He also insisted on seeing all the other rooms. And very soon, Mrs. Eliza learned about the King’s visit, and she hurried to meet him, wondering what was wrong.

“Is there anything I can do for you, Your Highness?” Eliza asked Caspian, her voice soft and worried.

“You’re the chief, right? You work in kitchens.”

“I am.”

“Show me your room.”

Eliza’s room was the only one with dry walls and a warm atmosphere. The room was little, but a bed, a desk and a little table with a couple chairs fitted quite well. The window was large and the room full of light. For sure, it wasn’t extremely large, but it was enough for a person who lived alone.

Caspian turned towards the Lords.

“I want nothing smaller and colder than this room. We’ll build another building if it’s necessary.”

“Your Highness…” Emras tried to speak, but Caspian just had to throw him a glare for the Lord to fall silent again.

“I want plans, I want dates, I want a global cost, I want names of people we could hire to do it,” Caspian went on, his voice still as hard as steel. “And I want all this on my desk by the end of next week.”

“It’s not enough time…” Emras tried to protest again.

“You will not have more time.”

Emras fell silent again. He had never seen Caspian so angry before. He didn’t know how to handle him when he was this way.

So he merely nodded, and let Caspian stride out of the room again.

And he wondered why the King was so upset about all this…

—————————————-

“Will she be okay?”

Caspian was back in his room. He stood a few feet away from the bed upon which you laid. All traces of anger had vanished from his dark eyes and they were now clouded with worry. But the physician nodded, reassuring his King.

“She must stay warm, and get lots of rest. I’ve prepared infusions she will have to drink. Everything is written down on a parchment I have put on your desk. But in a few days she should be fine. By the end of the week, it should be nothing more than a cold. And by the end of next week, all this will be nothing but a bad memory.”

Caspian heaved a relieved sigh.

“Thank you, doctor.”

“Who is she, if I may ask.”

“Y/N,” Caspian answered. “She’s a cook here, in the Castle.”

The elder man nodded, walking towards the door, but Caspian stopped him while he rested his hand on the doorknob.

“One last thing,” the King said.

“Yes, Your Highness?”

Caspian walked closer to him again, crossing his arms before him.

“You live here in the Castle, right?” Caspian said softly.

“Yes, I do.”

“You are fed as well, right?”

“Yes, I am.”

“And I reckon that you are more than well paid for your services.”

“I consider myself very lucky, indeed.”

“How come then, that when I asked this young woman here - this woman who works in the Castle and should thus be one of your patients, for which _I_ pay you to heal - didn’t want me to call you, because she said that she didn’t have enough money to pay you?”

The two men stared at each other for a moment, but there was nothing the man of medicine could find to say.

“You are very competent,” Caspian went on. “But every single soul living in this Castle is one of your patients, and I pay you to take care of all of them. If I ever hear again that you ask people to pay you, I will carry your belongings out of this Castle myself. Am I clear?”

“Very clear, Your Highness,” the doctor nodded, scared.

“You can leave now.”

The  physician didn’t need to be told twice, and he hurried out of the room.

Caspian then walked slowly towards the bed again. He took a chair and sat down next to you. He wrapped his fingers around your cold hand, his thumb brushing the inside of your wrist and sending butterflies to your stomach.

You opened your eyes, blinking several times before setting your gaze upon Caspian.

“Hey,” you whispered.

“Hey. How do you feel?”

“Not very well,” you admitted with a little smile.

“The doctor said that you would be just fine.”

“Yes, I heard.”

You held his hand in yours as well.

“Thank you. Thank you for everything, Caspian,” you breathed, staring right into his warm eyes.

He smiled.

“It’s nothing.”

“Where am I going to go now?” you asked. “Am I going back to my room?”

But Caspian shook his head.

“No, you’re not going to ever set a foot in there again,” he answered softly.

“You don’t have to do this.”

“I do, though.”

He shook his head, clenching his jaw.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice barely louder than a whisper. “I didn’t know you and your colleagues lived in rooms like this. I should have known, and I should have done something about it a long time ago.”

You smiled.

“Thank you.”

But you blinked several times again, sleep stinging your eyes.

“You should rest,” he said.

“Could you… Could you stay? For a bit longer?”

He smiled, nodding.

“Of course, I’ll stay. That’s my bedroom, remember?”

“You’re going to take me somewhere else? In another bedroom?”

But Caspian shook his head.

“No, for now, you stay here. So I can keep an eye on you. And make sure you take all the infusions the doctor gave me.”

You winced.

“They taste awful…” you moaned.

Caspian couldn’t refrain a chuckle.

“You still need to take same. But for now, you need to rest. So close your eyes.”

You smiled.

“Doctor’s orders?” you teased, making Caspian grin.

“Yes, doctor’s orders.”

You closed your eyes.

“I’m not sure I can sleep though,” you breathed.

“I’ll read to you. It’ll help.”

“Thank you,” you smiled.

He picked up the book he was currently reading, and started to read out loud from the beginning.

And he kept on reading, his voice warm and as soft as a feather, even when you had fallen asleep.

He remained there, sitting next to you, holding your hand and reading, for the rest of the day.


	5. Tinsel Garlands And Christmas Baubles

You were so excited as you caught sight of Caspian already waiting for you in the Dining Room, a large tree standing before him, along with boxes full of Christmas decorations. You hurried towards him, and a grin crossed his face as he turned to you.

“Hi,” you spoke excitingly.

“Good evening, Y/N,” Caspian welcomed you warmly. “How do you feel today?”

“I’m just fine. It’s been two weeks, I’m not sick anymore,” you laughed at his worried tone.

You exchanged a bright smile.

“Are you ready to decorate the tree with me then?” he asked, nodding towards the boxes.

“Yes!”

“I’m glad you accepted to do this with me,” Caspian kept on smiling as you both started to pick up tinsel garlandss and Christmas baubles to put on the tree. “Usually, I do this on my own, or someone else does it for me.”

“Who do you usually spend Christmas with?” you asked him.

“No one.”

You frowned hard.

“My friends go back to their families for Christmas,” he smiled. “Oh, they do visit me but… It’s not the same as having someone to spend the whole holiday with. I’m not going to complain though.”

But he could see that there was sadness in your eyes now, so he stopped talking about this, trying to guide the conversation towards you.

“What about you? Do you go back to your family for Christmas?”

“We have a few days off before Christmas,” you explained. “I have two days this year, starting in three days. So, yes, during this time I come home, and my parents make a special diner, as if it was already Christmas. But for Christmas itself, no. There’s the ball just the day before Christmas’ Eve, and then there’s everything to prepare for New Year’s Eve… But we organize a little something just my friends and I.”

Caspian smiled.

“It sounds good.”

You stared at him for a moment.

“I was thinking,” he went on. “As you’re staying in the guests’ quarters for a while, until your room is finished, maybe we could add a tree in this bedroom? I mean, it’s big enough for you to have one.”

“That would be great,” you nodded.

“If you want we can put it tomorrow in your room. We might be a bit short in Christmas decorations but… do you have some yourself?”

“No, I don’t.”

He seemed to think for a moment, and you bit your lips, summoning your courage to ask him the question that burnt your tongue.

“Caspian?” you called softly.

“Yes?”

“Maybe… maybe we could buy some?”

He grinned.

“Yes, of course. If you want to.”

“I… I’m back to work, so I can’t go except for these two free days I have.”

He frowned.

“But… you’ll be with your family.”

You looked at the white tinsel garland you were hanging at the tree, feeling your cheeks burning uncontrollably.

“Well… perhaps… perhaps you could come with me…”

He froze, almost dropping the ball of glass he held in his hands.

“Do you really mean that?” he breathed.

You forced yourself to look up at him.

“I mean… you’ve just said that you never spend Christmas with anyone and… I think… we should… spend it together.”

He stared at you, and there was both hope and fragility in his brown eyes.

“You want me to go to your home? For Christmas? With… with you?” he stuttered.

“Well… unless you don’t want to,” you said, shifting your weight from one foot to the other, uncomfortable.

“I…”

A smile slowly formed on his face.

“I would love to go with you,” he said slowly.

You looked up at him, a grin forming on your face.

“Really?”

“Of course, but… are you sure you want me to come? I mean… you’re supposed to celebrate with your family.”

“I would love it if you could join us,” you nodded, a grin on your face.

“Alright then, I’ll come,” Caspian grinned back at you.

You both blushed fiercely, focusing on the tinsel garlands and Christmas baubles again, chuckling nervously.

And it took a few minutes before the conversation between the two of you could be as smooth as before again. But as time flew by and the tree was more and more covered with bright colours and glimmering ornaments, and after the hot chocolate you had drunk together had made you merry despite your tiredness, things got a bit out of hands…

“I bet you can’t run as fast as I can,” you chimed.

“I beg your pardon? Have you seen the length of my legs compared to yours?”

You gasped, faking outrage but in reality just amused, slapping his shoulder playfully, making him only laugh harder.

“You know what? Let’s make a bet.”

“A bet?”

You nodded, a challenging glint alit in your wild gaze.

“If I win the race, you’ll have to tell me a secret on Christmas’ Eve, and if you win, I’ll tell you a secret.”

He offered you his opened hand.

“Sounds fair,” he smiled.

You shook hands.

“Let’s cross the room,” he proposed.

“Wait, we’re missing something.”

You picked up one of the few tinsel garlands that were not decorating the tree and wrapped it around his neck like a scarf.

“Now, you look much more… like Christmas,” you said, giggling.

He laughed, picking up a red tinsel garland and wrapping it around your neck as well.

“Here, now we’re matching,” he joked.

“Oh… wait!”

You picked up a golden tinsel garland, turned it into some kind of ball, and put it on his head, laughing.

“Your crown, Your Highness,” you laughed, choking because of your amusement.

He laughed as well, your two laughs echoing through the silent Castle and making the space around you much brighter.

“Alright, let’s get in position,” you said, walking towards one of the walls, and Caspian followed you.

“Ready?” he asked, putting the tinsel garland away from his head, but he kept the green one you had wrapped around his neck.

“Whenever you are,” you smiled, ready to run.

“3…”

“…2…”

“…1…”

“GO!”

You both started to run through the large hall, although you couldn’t run at full speed, as you were both laughing, the air quickly missing in your lungs.

But when you saw him before you, about to reach the opposite wall, you grabbed his arm, the two of you quickly losing your balance, and you both fell down onto the marble ground.

But you were both still laughing.

“You’re okay?” Caspian asked, cupping your cheek.

You nodded.

“Let’s say that we both won,” you proposed.

“Are you kidding me ?! You cheated!” Caspian protested.

But you looked up at your hand that touched the wall.

“Yes, but I won,” you giggled.

He merely laughed in response, tenderness shining in his brown eyes.

Your laugh was the brightest, the purest, the cutest thing he had ever heard in his entire life… And all he wanted was to hear it forever.

It took the two of you several minutes before being able to calm down, and when finally you both fell silent once more, you noticed that Caspian’s hand was still holding your face tenderly. His calloused thumb was still brushing against your cheek in a delicate movement that made your heart beat faster and faster every second…

“We should go to bed,” Caspian whispered, his face just a few inches away from your own.

You nodded slowly, resting your fingers on his forearm, feeling his muscles moving under his sleeve.

“I’ll clean all the mess,” you said, but he shook his head, smiling.

“No, I’ll do it. You seem tired. You should go to bed and rest.”

You nodded again, and slowly, almost reluctantly, you both stood up.

“Can I see you tomorrow?” Caspian asked. “Lunch?”

You nodded, giving him a bright smile.

“I’ll see you tomorrow in the kitchens then,” he grinned.

“Goodnight, Caspian.”

You went on your tiptoes and kissed his cheek, your touch feather like against his skin.

He closed his eyes…

But before he could react, you had disappeared, walking out of the room.

Slowly, he brought his fingers up to his cheek, his calloused fingertips brushing against the skin that you had kissed, a dreamy smile on his face while his heart was rushing under his ribcage…

He leaned against the wall, closing his eyes. He could almost feel your soft skin resting against his again…

He heaved a sigh.

What was wrong with him?

————————————————————

You were beyond excited. You had sent a letter to your family, saying that you would bring a friend with you for Christmas. You hadn’t told them that your friend was the King of Narnia though.

Caspian didn’t want to bring soldiers along, so everything had been planned in secrecy, and only his closest advisors and friends knew about your trip with him. It had been decided that Caspian would go wearing more… “common clothes”, than the richly threaded shirts he was used to.

But no matter the clothes he wore, when you saw him walking towards you down the corridor, your heart jumped in your chest.

It was barely dawn, but long hours on horseback were awaiting you before you could reach your hometown, so you had to leave early in the morning. And as he walked towards you, a large grin on his face, the first lights of the day shyly shining in the deserted Castle, you found yourself short of breath, stunned, as if someone had punched you in the stomach, but somehow it was a good sort of punch…

“Are you ready?” he asked, his voice so deep it was warming your entire body.

“I am. You?”

He nodded, offering you his arm. And you walked together out of the Castle, crossing the courtyard covered by a thick layer of white snow, and you reached the stables.

Caspian caught you smiling as you looked at his brown cloak.

“A problem?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“No, it’s just… It’s strange to see you with worn-out clothes.”

“I reckon it was the best option that we had,” he said, smiling. “Unless you would have preferred to be constantly followed by five guards…?”

“No, really, I’ll do with the worn-out cloak,” you teased, making him laugh.

He helped you climbing on your horse, and your heart stopped as he captured your fingers with his to accompany your movements. You felt dizzy when he was around you, and you felt so safe and warm and happy…

What was wrong with you?

You rode merrily for several hours. As you had left the Castle early, you were hoping to arrive near noon, and to have lunch in the village. You had spent most of the night cooking, although Caspian didn’t know anything about it. You had told him that you could buy food there. But you knew he enjoyed your food, and you were desperate to make him happy. It felt like the whole world was shining when he smiled…

You finally reached the little town you came from. A little town, a village lost in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by woods, with little houses all made of stones.

“Would you like us to buy a few decorations first, and then we can eat?” Caspian proposed as you crossed the wooden gates of the village.

“It sounds very good.”

You guided Caspian across the little town to your parents home. They were not there, but you left your horses in their barn, making sure the two animals would not be cold.

He offered you his arm again, and you walked through the streets, guiding him to the little shops you knew where selling decorations. You gathered a few tinsel garlands and Christmas baubles in your arms, but Caspian quickly offered you to carry all the things you wanted to buy.

And then you saw it…

It was a large crystal star that was meant to be put at the top of the tree. The crystal was reflecting the light so beautifully, so many colours shining…

But then your eyes fell on the prize, and you clenched your jaw.

You needed months to pay that…

“Oh, it’ beautiful!” Caspian smiled, looking at the star as well.

“I think we’ve bought enough things for my tree,” you mumbled.

But Caspian frowned hard.

“We should take this as well.”

“No, it’s okay.”

“Why not? I can see that you like it. So why should we not take it?”

You looked up at him, feeling your cheeks blushing.

“I don’t have enough money to buy that,” you whispered.

Caspian frowned hard.

“And?”

It was your turn to frown.

“I know you’re a King, but I thought you knew more about trades and economics…”

He rolled his eyes.

“Why do you care about that? I’ll pay anyway.”

You frowned hard.

“What?”

“It’s okay, I’m paying for all this.”

But instead of smiling you frowned hard, and you seemed… hurt.

Why did you seem hurt?

“Give me all this,” you said harshly, taking all the decorations.

“But… Y/N? What did I do wrong?”

“Nothing. It’s okay. You can wait for me outside.”

“But…”

“I don’t want you to pay.”

“Why not? I do have money…”

“I don’t need you to buy myself Christmas decorations.”

Your tone was so cold all of a sudden, frozen like the snow that covered the world outside. And Caspian had no idea how to deal with this reaction of yours.

“I just… I just wanted to please you,” he stuttered, completely lost.

You forced yourself to calm down. You were being ridiculous. Of course he just meant to be kind…

“I’ll pay, you can wait for me outside,” you said, your tone softer.

He slowly nodded, leaving you alone in the shop.

You felt so stupid…

When you joined him outside once again, Caspian gave you a small smile.

“I shouldn’t have talked to you like that,” you said sheepishly, looking down at your feet. “I’m sorry.”

“I just wanted to buy you something that you would like.”

“I know.”

“Why did you react like that then?”

You shrugged, but he was certain that you knew perfectly the reason for your reaction. But he decided to drop the subject for now. He let you guide him through the town again, a smile soon back on your lips.

But when he tried to walk towards the inn, you pulled him away from the main street, taking his hand to lead him out of town.

“Aren’t you hungry?” Caspian asked.

“I am,” you nodded, a mischievous smile on your lips.

“Where are we going?” he asked.

“We made a bet, remember? I was supposed to tell you a secret.”

He smiled.

“And what’s this secret of yours?”

“You’ll see…”

You guided him through the forest that surrounded your town, until you reached a little clearing, in which a tall oak tree stood, majestic in the middle of the white snow. Despite its lack of leaves, it still looked taller than the other trees all around the two of you. Caspian frowned at the sight of a little ladder made of wood that climbed up into the tree, almost reaching the top. There seemed to be something built in the tree up there.

“Where are we?” he asked you, curiosity shining in his brown eyes.

“I made this with my dad when I was a child,” you said softly. “It’s my secret house.”

He smiled.

“That’s your secret place?”

You nodded.

“Come.”

You climbed up the tree, and Caspian followed you, climbing behind you.

And he struggled to refrain his urge to look up at you. From there, he was certain that he would have seen a part of your legs under your dress…

Instead he focused on his hands, and made sure never to look up as long as he could feel your presence above him.

But soon he was standing before what looked like a little house indeed, all made of wood, but that time didn’t seem to have damaged too much. You invited him inside, and the ceiling was high enough for him to stand. There was no furniture, only a few blankets you had left there.

“It’s beautiful,” he smiled, looking at the amazing view.

From the little windows, you could see the whole forest, all the treetops covered with white, like cakes covered with sugar.

You sat down, and took out from your bag the meal you had prepared for Caspian and you.

“But…”

You looked up at him, as he watched you with his brow furrowed.

“I thought you weren’t supposed to cook anything,” he said with a smile.

“I know. But you seem to like it when I cook for you. So…”

He smiled, sitting on a blanket next to you, and you ate the meal you had prepared in a happy mood, chatting casually.

When you reached the dessert, Caspian wrapped a warm blanket around your shoulders, noticing that your nails were turning blue with the cold.

You smiled up at him. He was always so kind to you…

“Y/N… can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” you smiled.

“Don’t… don’t get angry, okay?” he said nervously, running a hand in his hair. “But I’d really like to know… Why did you not want me to pay in the shop?”

You looked down at your hands, fleeing his soft chocolate stare.

“I mean… I didn’t… I wanted to please you,” he said. “And I don’t understand where I did something wrong. So can you tell me, please? So I won’t do it again?”

You were on the verge of tears…

“You did nothing wrong.”

“I did upset you though.”

You swallowed hard, struggling to make the lump in your throat disappear.

“I just…” you said softly, still avoiding his dark eyes, feeling too ashamed of yourself. “I don’t want you to pay for me. I don’t… want you to think that… that this is why I spend so much time with you. Because it’s really not true. And… I’m working, you know? I don’t need you to buy me things. I don’t want you to. I can do this on my own. And… I’m a bit scared that… you’re just here because you… pity me somehow.”

He frowned hard.

“Pity you?”

“Because I’m struggling with everything.”

“You’re definitely not struggling with anything in a kitchen.”

You chuckled, until you felt his fingers on your cheek, and you looked up at him again, shivers running up your spine.

“I know you can manage without me. You’ve been doing so for all your life,” he said. “And I just… I just wanted to buy those as a gift. Because I wanted to make you happy. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. I’m sorry if I did. But I don’t pity you… I think…”

His voice broke. Why were there so many emotions inside his chest all of a sudden?

“I think you’re amazing,” he said softly, blushing hard. “And I just… I just want to spend some time with you and I want you to be happy when you’re with me, that’s all.”

You smiled.

“I am happy whenever I’m with you, Caspian.”

You exchanged a smile.

“I really… I really love spending time with you,” you said. “And by ‘you’, I don’t mean the King of Narnia, I mean Caspian. I mean the real _you_. Do you understand?”

He nodded, a tender smile still on his lips.

“I do understand, Y/N. And I’m happy you feel this way. I wish…”

His thumb brushed against your cheek tenderly, and your entire body trembled. And your heart was beating so fast as you stared into his beautiful eyes and…

Why were there so many emotions inside your chest all of a sudden?

“I wish you could forget that I’m King,” he whispered, and you could see both pain and hope mingled together in his gaze. “I don’t want you to see this in me. I feel… I feel like I can be myself when I’m with you. And it’s so… liberating. To have someone with whom I can be myself without fear of rumours or judgements.”

You nodded.

“It feels the same,” you smiled a dreamy smile. “Like it doesn’t matter if I’m just a cook. Like I can make jokes and laugh with you without fear of being taken for an idiot and… You’re just so kind all the time…”

He nodded, the same dreamy smile that was plastered on your face now forming on his lips as well.

“And you’re such a ray of sunshine whenever you enter a room, Y/N. Your smile is so bright, it could make the whole night disappear…”

“You make me laugh so much.”

“You make me forget about all these duties I have to bear.”

“You make me forget we come from two different worlds.”

“You’re so shy and pure and naive, it feels like I’ve never seen anything bad in this world when you’re here.”

“And you’re so caring, and protective and adorable.”

“You’re so beautiful…”

“You’re so handsome…”

Suddenly, you both froze. And you realized that your two faces had been diving and diving and diving towards the other’s and they were now separated by just a few inches and you were so close you could feel his breath against your lips and you could smell his sugary scent and…

Your mind was both blank and running wild, and your heart was beating so fast…

Your eyes never left Caspian’s. And for a moment the world was still. Not a single sound could be heard around you. Maybe it was the snow shushing all the noises. Maybe time itself had stopped to watch the two of you sitting there, motionless.

And there was this string between the two of you again, this string that pulled you towards him. Only, it pulled on you with much more strength this time.

You felt his thumb slowly moving across your cheek.

It grazed your lower lip, and you gasped at the soft caress, Caspian’s eyes falling down on your mouth, watching his thumb trailing across your soft skin…

It was so hard for him to breathe.

Your breathing was a mess.

He looked up at your eyes again, and he was lost in them.

You stared back at him, and you fell so deep into these two dark orbs, you were certain to remain trapped there for all eternity.

And slowly, he dived towards you again.

And slowly, you leaned up to meet him once more.

And then his eyes closed.

And then your eyelids fell down upon your eyes.

When your lips barely touched, you both gasped.

But Caspian didn’t stop his fall toward you, and slowly, softly, he closed his lips upon yours kissing you tenderly, almost shyly. Soon he was pressing his lips harder against yours, moving them slowly over your soft skin, his hold on your face tightening slightly, his other arm wrapping around your waist to draw you close to him. You lost both your hands in his dark hair. The kiss deepened, and you were both gone for good…

And then he knew.

And then you knew.

Why he kept on thinking about you, why he felt so dizzy and happy and strange around you.

Why he never left your thoughts, why you felt so happy and safe and peaceful whenever he was near you.

Slowly, your lips unsealed, and you stared at each other. And you simultaneously voiced this truth that had suddenly struck your two hearts, although you both knew that it had been there for a while now.

“I love you.”


	6. The First Christmas

It felt surreal. Like you were lost in the middle of a dream from which you  never wanted to wake up. Dusk was painting colourful shapes in the sky, red and gold now mingling with purple through the Heavens, but nor you nor Caspian meant to move away from this blanket the two of you were lying upon. You nuzzled your face against the crook of his neck, his short beard tickling your skin, making him smile.

“Shouldn’t we join your parents?” Caspian asked after a long and comfortable silence.

You groaned, shaking your head.

“Five more minutes,” you mumbled.

He laughed, tightening his hold around you body, pressing you even more against him.

“We should go before night would fall.”

“Caspian?” you breathed, ignoring him. “What’s going to happen now?”

“Well… weren’t we supposed to celebrate an early Christmas with your family?”

You giggled.

“Yes, but I didn’t mean that, I meant… about us?”

He pulled away just enough to stare at you, his brown eyes diving into your worried gaze.

“Well… I… I don’t know,” he answered cautiously. “What would you like to happen now?”

He felt you slipping away from his grasp, and he didn’t dare to stop you.

“I… I don’t think that what I want is possible,” you whispered, fleeing his intense stare.

“What would you want, Y/N?”

“This,” you whispered, before taking a sharp intake of breath. “What we’ve been doing since we came up here.”

He grinned.

“Well… that’s exactly what I want as well,” he smiled, cupping your cheek.

“But it’s impossible.”

“Why would it be impossible?” he asked his smile faltering as he frowned.

“I’m a cook and you…”

“Don’t say it.”

You fell silent, looking up at him again. His tone was suddenly colder, more in pain as well. He shook his head, anger shining beyond his chocolate brown eyes.

“It doesn’t matter,” he said fervently. “Your work, mine, it doesn’t matter at all.”

“It does, Caspian.”

“No, it doesn’t. Not when it comes to this. Not when it comes to who I love.”

He rested his forehead against yours, heaving a sigh.

“I love you, Y/N,” he whispered, his lips so close to yours that you could feel his warm breath brushing your sensitive skin. “I love you, and no one has the right to take this away from us, do you understand?”

You nodded, closing your eyes.

“But what will your people think?”

“I don’t care about what they think…”

“You’re King. And a good one. Of course you care.”

“Trust me, Y/N, about this, I don’t care about their opinion.”

“Do you promise?”

“You have my word.”

“Then… What will happen now?”

“Now? I was thinking about kissing you,” he smirked, brushing his nose against yours, making you giggle and blush fiercely.

“That’s not what I meant,” you laughed.

He pulled you into a kiss anyway, his heart skipping a beat as his lips colliding with yours, his eyes instantly closing. He felt like he had suddenly found something he had been looking for during all his life, something he had been missing and had suddenly found. He felt complete with you in his arms, he felt peaceful and invincible.

One thing was for sure, he never wanted this feeling to disappear.

When you finally pulled away, it was to rest your forehead against Caspian’s, your eyes still closed.

“We’ll be together then?” you asked in a whisper.

“If you want me,” he nodded.

You blushed fiercely, laughing.

“Of course I do want you,” you whispered shyly.

He dropped a sweet peck upon your nose.

“Then we’ll be together, and I won’t let anyone tear us apart. Deal?”

You grinned, his feathery touch sending butterflies across your stomach as he trailed his fingertips down your neck.

“Deal.”

——————————————————————

“Stop being so nervous.”

You giggled at the sight of his flushed cheeks.

“I’m about to meet your family, of course I am nervous,” he replied.

You took his hand in yours, smiling tenderly at him.

“My parents will adore you,” you reassured.

“You didn’t tell them that I am king, did you?”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Well… this is the promise for an interesting reaction, that is for sure.”

You both chuckled as you made your way through the now deserted streets, the night scaring the inhabitants away from the cold paths. Caspian readjusted the blanket upon your shoulders to make sure that you would stay warm despite the falling snow.

“Perhaps I should not tell them,” he said softly, a little frown appearing across his brow as he seemed to be thinking.

“Why not?” you asked back.

He shrugged.

“I don’t want them to feel uncomfortable.”

“They won’t feel uncomfortable.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“You did feel uncomfortable around me at first,” he argued.

You opened your mouth to reply, trying to contradict him, but you had to admit that he was right.

“I don’t reckon that lying to them during your first encounter is a good idea either,” you told him as you entered the right street.

“You have a point,” he nodded.

You finally came to a stop before your parents’ house. You could hear the sound of laughter and voices coming from inside the house already.

Caspian took a deep breath.

“Ready?” you asked with a smile.

He nodded, letting you knock on the door.

Not five seconds passed before the door opened to reveal your father, a grin across his face.

“Y/N! How are you, my child?” he asked, taking you in his arms.

“I’m fine, father,” you grinned back, kissing his cheek.

“Come in, come in, it’s freezing outside!”

You walked in, Caspian following you in silence, a shy smile on his lips. Inside the room, your sister and your brother were already sitting around the wooden table, along with your uncle and your mother. They all cheered at your sight, standing up to hug you all in turns, while Caspian was patiently waiting behind you.

“Y/N, you should introduce your friend,” your father reminded you, but he was already offering his open hand to Caspian. “I’m Y/N’s father, Samuel.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir. I’m Caspian.”

“Caspian! What a funny name!” your uncle blurted out, laughing while shaking his hand. “Like the king!”

You and Caspian exchanged a glance.

“Actually, he _is_ the king,” you smiled.

But your whole family exploded with laughter.

“Yeah, of course!” your brother mocked you.

“Raphael!” you tried to protest, but your whole family was laughing.

“Come and sit down, Caspian,” your mother invited him to sit around the table.

You sat down next to him, and the next second, wine had been served for him and food was already set upon the table.

“So, Caspian… how did you and Y/N meet?” your sister asked.

“We… we met in the Castle,” he answered elusively.

“So you work in the Castle too?”

“Indeed.”

“I heard the king was building a brand new building that he would add to the structure of the Castle,” your mother said. “They say it was meant for the domestics. Is it true, Y/N?”

“Yes, it is,” you nodded. “We’ll all have better rooms soon.”

“That’s very generous of him,” your sister nodded.

“He should have done it sooner and never let his employees live in bad conditions in the first place,” your father said harshly.

“He didn’t know, father,” you defended Caspian, throwing him a discreet glance.

“How could he not know?” Raphael asked.

“Do you really think that the king would visit the rooms of the domestics for fun?” your mother replied.

“Rosie has a point,” your uncle nodded. “And he apparently took measures when he learnt about it, so all his fine.”

“What do you think about it, Caspian?” your brother asked him.

Caspian looked down at his plate.

“I think he should have known much earlier. I think it should have never had happened,” he answered softly.

“But if he’s not in charge of making sure that they are living in decent rooms, how can he know?” Rosie argued. “If someone else is supposed to take care of it?”

“It happened in the Castle, and more than anywhere in Narnia, he’s supposed to protect the people living there,” Caspian shook his head. “He should have made sure that everyone had a decent room himself.”

“Anyway, he’s taking decisions now. I heard that some of you now sleep in the guests quarters,” your sister said excitedly. “Do you?”

“Yes, I do!” you smiled.

“How is it?”

“It’s… richly decorated.”

Everyone around the table laughed.

The conversation drifted away from the Castle for a rather long while after that. As no one in your family had ever seen the king before, none of them noticed any resemblance between Caspian and the king beside their names, and it seemed that none believed in his true identity. One thing that didn’t go unnoticed though, to all in the room, was the way you were looking at Caspian, and the way he was looking back at you. And your father was getting quieter and quieter as the evening flew by.

“And how about your business, uncle?” you asked the man next to you.

But he winced.

“It has seen better days,” he admitted. “I used to trade a lot with the people in the north, you know? But these days, they have stopped almost all trades. I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I am struggling these days.”

“What kind of business do you run?” Caspian asked.

“I’m a smith,” your uncle answered with a proud smile. “And a good one. But without my usual clients, I find myself in a difficult situation.”

“Why did they stop the trades?” your sister asked.

But your uncle shrugged.

“Apparently they hold grievances against the King or something… And there’s also the fact that they didn’t like losing the war they fought against us. Some say that they could be a threat.”

“And what does the King say?” your brother asked.

“Nothing so far,” Samuel answered.

“He is trying to find an agreement and to negotiate,” Caspian intervened.

“I heard that there has been an offer proposed to the King but he refused it,” Rosie added.

“Why would he refuse an offer?” Raphael asked.

“Because it wasn’t a fair one,” Caspian answered quietly.

But Raphael snorted.

“Yeah, he’s not the one struggling to pay the rent, right?”

Caspian stared intensely at your brother, but didn’t say a word.

“What kind of proposition could he refuse?” Raphael went on.

“Maybe they didn’t give him enough gold,” your father mocked.

“Could we change the subject?” you asked, noticing how Caspian was clenching his jaw a bit more tightly at every second that passed by.

“What kind of offer could he refuse?” Raphael asked again anyway.

“Perhaps you just don’t know the situation in its entirety,” you said, your tone now annoyed.

“I mean, even if they ask for a few advantages about taxes or things like that, it’s still better than nothing,” Raphael went on, ignoring your remark.

“It was an arranged marriage,” Caspian blurted out.

They all looked at him.

“What?” Raphael frowned.

“The offer was an arranged marriage,” Caspian repeated. “With one of their daughters.”

“Could be worse than marrying a princess,” Raphael joked.

But Caspian merely stared at him.

“It still means marrying someone you don’t love.”

“And for us it still means less money…”

“The problem is purely about trades and economics, and it should be solved by agreements and low taxation, not by forcing two people to marry each other,” Caspian replied coolly.

There was something kingly now in his tone, a sternness that was not there before, and your uncle noticed it, a frown now appearing on his elder face.

“If it’s for the greater good…”

“It will not happen.”

There was such determination burning in Caspian’s tone as he pronounced the last sentence that an uncomfortable silence settled into the room.

“I think I need some fresh air,” you mumbled.

You stood up and strode towards the door, not paying attention to your family that stared at you. You could hear Caspian’s feet hitting the wooden floor after you, and were not surprised when he closed the door behind him and joined you under the falling snow.

“We should have grabbed our coats,” he pointed out.

You didn’t answer. You kept your back to him, unwilling to let him see the tears that were shining in your eyes.

He came closer anyway, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind and resting his cheek against your hair.

“It will not happen,” he said softly, and his tone was not one to accept arguments. “Y/N, I will not marry any of them.”

“You heard them, even my family wants you to do this…” you whispered, but your voice broke.

“Then we’re lucky they are not in charge of the decision.”

You turned around, taking his hands in yours as you fell into his brown eyes, turning to face him.

“I don’t want you to have problems because of me,” you breathed shyly.

But you were met with nothing but an amused smile.

“I am ready to face as many problems as needed as long as I can be with you,” he said tenderly, brushing a lock of your hair away from your face.

The two of you exchanged a smile.

“Trust me,” he told you. “This arranged marriage will not happen.”

You nodded, before resting your forehead against his shoulder, relaxing under his soothing touch as Caspian stroked your back.

“I love you, Caspian,” you breathed against his shirt, your voice hushed by the fabric and a mere whisper.

“I love you too, Y/N,” Caspian kissed your temple. “I love you, and no one can ever change that.”

You both jumped when the door opened, revealing… your entire family.

They all had a shy expression on their faces, staring at Caspian as his arms slowly unwrapped from around your body to fall by his sides.

“You… you really _are_ the king… aren’t you?” your uncle asked in a whisper.

Caspian warmly smiled.

“I’m afraid I am,” he nodded.

“By Aslan’s name…” your sister breathed, before making a movement to bend.

But Caspian stopped her.

“No, please…”

“We should have never said all those things,” your mother apologized.

But Caspian quickly stopped her.

“We should come back inside,” your father breathed.

You started to follow your parents inside, but were interrupted by the loud sound of galloping horses coming closer.

At the sight of riders coming towards the house throughout the night and the falling snow, Caspian remained before the door, his whole body now tensed.

“Caspian…” you breathed, a worried expression on your face.

But he shook his head, pushing you softly away to make sure that you would walk inside.

Only when the riders were close enough for him to recognize their armours did Caspian finally relax, walking towards the newcomers.

He smiled at the sight of Reepicheep, sitting on the shoulder of one of Caspian’s generals.

“We are sorry to interrupt, your Highness,” the mouse apologized. “I’m afraid there is an emergency.”

“What happened, Reep?” Caspian merely asked.

“Lords from the North are on their way to the Castle.”

“What?!”

“They were seen at the border, they should be there before tomorrow night.”

“They were not supposed to come before the New Year…”

Reepicheep merely shrugged.

Caspian heaved a frustrated sigh, trying to count how many hours he would need to travel, to organize everything for the Lords’ arrival…

No, he didn’t have a choice…

“I’m coming, Reep.”

He turned towards you, an apologetic expression on his features.

“I’m sorry, I have to go. I must be there when they arrive.”

You nodded, taking a step towards him.

“Of course, you need to go.”

You exchanged a smile, before Caspian would turn to your family.

“I’m terribly sorry I have to leave like this. Thank you so much for your hospitality, and for your dinner, it was delicious.”

He turned towards the mouse again.

“Reep, you’ll stay here for tonight. You’ll accompany Y/N back to the Castle tomorrow.”

“Of course, my Liege,” the knight nodded, jumping to the ground.

“I can come back alone,” you breathed shyly, uncomfortable at the idea of bothering Reepicheep.

But Caspian shook his head.

“You can’t take the risk to travel alone. Reep will make sure you’re safe.”

You chuckled.

“Now, here you are worrying about me again,” you joked, making him smile.

“I’m afraid it’s my doom from now on,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to your brow. “I’ll see you in the Castle, okay?”

You nodded, smiling at him as your mother handed him his cloak and he walked away from your house.

Reepicheep turned towards you.

“My lady, if it doesn’t bother you, I will take a walk for a few minutes. I’ve been sitting for several hours, and my legs are all numb.”

“Of… of course,” you nodded, stuttering, your cheeks flushed at the sound of someone calling you 'lady’. “We’ll let the door open, just knock when you come back.”

The mouse bowed low and walked away, his little paws leaving traces into the thick layer of snow.

You closed the door behind you as you walked back inside your parents house…

…. to be met with excited shrieks.

“THE KING!” your sister shouted.

“And wait… does that mean that the two of you are…” Raphael asked.

You blushed fiercely, failing at refraining this grin that craved to appear on your lips.

“He… We…” you stuttered, unable to find the right words, but the colour of your cheeks and the joy in your eyes was enough to make your family understand.

“I’m so happy for you! But the KING!” your sister couldn’t believe it.

“I guess… There are little arguments that I could find against a _king_ ,” your father smiled.

You hugged him.

“Thank you, father.”

“He seems to be kind to you,” he nodded.

A dreamy smile formed on your lips.

“You can’t imagine how much.”

————————————————

“I thank you for your warm welcome.”

“I hope your rooms will be to your and your daughter’s liking.”

“I am sure they will be.”

“Take the night to rest, we shall discuss of important matters tomorrow,” Caspian said softly. “Are you certain that you do not want to eat anything? I could ask for food to be brought to your room if you are too tired for an official dinner.”

“It is very kind of you, Your Highness,” the lord smiled. “But we ate on the road, and I am afraid that my daughter and I long for nothing but sleep now.”

“I understand, of course. I will see you tomorrow morning then. Good night Lord Lirian. Good night, Lady Clarissa.”

The blond woman grinned seductively, bowing before the king.

“Good night, Your Highness. I am more than delighted to finally meet you,” she said, her voice made of poisoned honey.

Caspian politely smiled and nodded, leaving Lord Lirian and his daughter Clarissa free to reach their rooms, Lord Emras acting as their guide.

But instead of staying in the corridor, Emras walked into Lirian’s room, quickly followed by Clarissa and her father, who closed the door behind him.

“So… how is the situation?” Lirian asked Emras, getting straight to the point.

He poured himself a glass of red wine, before handing another to Emras. They sat down on the sofa before the fire, warming their hands to the flames.

“I have no knowledge of the King courting anyone,” Emras said. “He has not accepted your offer though.”

Lirian laughed.

“Give him a moment with my Clarissa and he will be convinced,” Lirian reassured him. “But I am counting on _you_ to make sure that my daughter has no rival.”

“I have no knowledge of any woman that the king could be courting,” Emras repeated.

“Good. Now, you’ll have to make sure to keep it this way.”

Emras nodded.

“Then…” Lirian spoke again, raising his glass before him, “let’s drink to a long alliance between our lands, and a long wedding…”

“To a long wedding,” Emras smiled.

He drank up his glass of wine, a little smile on his face.

If the king couldn’t see reason, Emras was determined to force him into the right path, no matter what it would take…


	7. The Invitation

You hummed softly to yourself as you cut down more carrots to add to your soup. You breathed deeply the scent of spices and vegetables that had now invaded the room all around you.

You were in your element, here, in the safety of the kitchen. You felt safe here, surrounded with fruits, vegetables, pans and spoons. Since you became a cook, you had met no worries linked to your work. When you knew that Caspian was drowning under them these days…

Since you had come back to the Castle, two days before, you had had no time to see Caspian at all. Merely a note saying that he was relieved that you were back safe and sounds, but he would be busy with this Lord and his daughter for the coming days, and didn’t know when he would be able to see you again.

You heaved a sigh. You missed him. Only two days had passed since you had last seen him but you already missed him. You just hoped that you would soon see him…

But this Lord seemed to be so difficult to deal with. Rumours had started to spread through the Castle, and apparently, the negotiations were heading nowhere for now.

Your heart stumbled in your chest. What if Caspian couldn’t find any other way to stop this conflict than by accepting the Lord’s offer… What if he was forced to marry this Clarissa?

You were not blind, nor so naive. Like everyone in the Castle, you had guessed the true reason behind the coming of Lirian’s daughter. She was to try to seduce Caspian and convince him to agree to marry _her…_

The knife slipped between your fingers, and you almost cut yourself, carving a line in the wooden table instead.

But Caspian loved you… he had promised you that this wedding would never happen…

The door of the kitchens suddenly opened, and all in the room turned their attention towards the newcomer.

Their eyes grew wide at the sight of the King standing in the doorframe.

“Your Highness!” Lady Eliza exclaimed, hurrying towards him. “What can we do for you?”

But Caspian’s dark brown eyes were already resting upon you, and you knew why he had come before he would speak a word.

“I would like a moment alone with Lady Y/N,” he said sternly, but the glitter in his eyes revealed the happiness that flooded through his veins at the sight of you.

“Of course, of course. Go Y/N!”

You nodded, sweeping the pieces of vegetables that clung to your fingers away with your apron, but Caspian shook his head.

“Could you all leave us for a moment?”

You frowned, stopping your movements in surprise for a second, but in the blink of an eye, everyone else had left the room. Caspian waited to close the door behind the last cook that walked out of the room, before turning towards you again.

You could do nothing but smile at him, your heart too busy dancing in your chest to allow any other movement to your body.

Caspian grinned, and suddenly strode towards you, almost running to you. He caught you in his strong arms, imprisoning you in a tight and warm embrace. You giggled at his gesture, wrapping your arms around him as well, and holding him even closer to you.

“Caspian…”

But before you could say anything, he crushed your lips together, pushing you firmly against the table behind you. This kiss was different from any you had exchanged so far : it was urgent, almost desperate. He was kissing you as if he had spent long minutes with his head under the water, and you were the miraculous gulp of air that would prevent his lungs from burning and save him. As if he had spent days in a desert, and you were an oasis lost in the middle of the sand.

You moaned as you let him deepen the kiss, your hands lost in his dark locks, while one of his arms was wrapped around your waist to keep you close to him, his other hand lost in your hair.

He rested his forehead against yours as you both caught your breaths, trying to slow down your two rushing hearts. He kept you trapped between the table and his muscular body, holding you so close that you could feel his warmth flowing through you.

“Hi,” you smiled.

He laughed, brushing his nose against yours.

“Hi, Y/N.”

“Are you okay, Caspian?”

He nodded, but heaved a sigh right after.

“I just… I’m sorry to bother you while you’re working. But I’ve finally managed to spend a moment without Lord Lirian or his daughter and I just… I needed to see you, Y/N. I needed you.”

You stroked his cheek tenderly, your fingertips running through his beard soothingly.

“It’s okay. I’m happy to see you,” you smiled.

“I missed you,” breathed, tightening his hold on you even more. “I bet that it sounds a bit stupid, only three days have passed since we went to see your parents, but still…”

“I missed you too, Caspian,” you reassured him. “It’s not stupid.”

He smirked, looking at you again as he opened his eyes once more.

“You missed me?” he asked mischievously.

You laughed, but blushed anyway.

“You know I did. Don’t make me regret admitting it.”

You both laughed, but you could soon notice that he was growing more serious.

“Is there something wrong?” you asked him.

He intensely stared at you.

“Can I see you tonight? In my room? There we won’t be interrupted, and there is a matter we need to discuss together.”

Your heart skipped a beat, and you were awful at hiding your sudden worry.

“Is it about the lord and his daughter?”

Caspian didn’t answer. He felt your hands clasping around the fabric of his brown shirt.

“Caspian…”

“Do not worry,” he gave you a reassuring smile. “I just have a favour to ask you. All is fine.”

You nodded, not entirely convinced, but willing to wait until this evening to learn more about what was happening in the Castle these days.

“I don’t have much time, and I should let you go back to work,” he whispered, his fingertips brushing the outlines of your lips.

“No… Caspian, wait…”

You pulled him down to you, kissing him again. You just wanted to forget everything about the world that kept on moving and spinning around you for just a few more seconds, let the entire universe shrink until it fitted in Caspian’s embrace once more. For just a little while longer, you wanted your life to be full, and perfect…

“When shall we meet?” you asked in a breathy whisper when you finally broke away.

“After dinner. Once you’re free. Come to my chamber directly, I’ll be waiting for you.”

You nodded, letting him drop several pecks on your lips.

“I need to go, Y/N, I don’t have much time…”

“I love you, Caspian.”

“I love you too. I’ll see you tonight.”

You let him slip away from your arms, his fingers lingering against yours as he walked towards the door again. And you knew that he didn’t want to part either. If he had had the choice, he would have stayed with you all day long… all life long…

But he was King and duties kept on calling for him to walk away and leave you behind.

He heaved a sigh as he walked away from the kitchens, ignoring the stares your colleagues threw at him as they walked back inside the room. He crossed the corridor with a neutral expression on his face, but the truth was… he was worried.

He had to make the first move, or this Lord would have his head. For now, Clarissa thought that she had no rival, and thus was taking her time, just like her father. If they were to learn about you before he could make it official… He didn’t even dare to imagine. He had to be the first to make a move. And he had to make this move now…

———————————————————

When you knocked on Caspian’s door, you couldn’t help but check your surroundings. But the corridor was empty, and no one could see you knocking on the door of the King’s chambers.

You guessed that if anyone saw you, they would probably call for some guards and try to throw you out of the Castle for bothering the King.

But Caspian opened the door in a matter of seconds, meeting you with a relieved smile, and inviting you inside. He locked the door behind you.

“At least here, we won’t be interrupted, and we won’t have to fear eavesdroppers,” he said, before pointing at the large couch set before the fireplace. “Please, sit down. Make yourself comfortable. Do you want some wine?”

“No, thank you,” you shook your head, walking towards the fireplace.

But the couch seemed so luxuous… it was undoubtedly worth more than you could earn in _years_ …

Instead, you sat down on the carpet right before the flames, resting only your back against the furniture.

Caspian smiled at you, before sitting next to you on the floor.

“What was this matter we needed to discuss?” you asked him, getting straight to the point.

His expression saddened, worry making him frown slightly.

He wrapped an arm around your shoulders, drawing you closer, and you rested your head in the crook of his neck. You listened for a few seconds as he remained silent, the sound of the cracking fire mingling with his soothing breath. These sounds could have easily lulled you into sleep, had you not been so worried.

“Caspian?” you insisted.

He heaved a sigh, and you felt him tensing against you, but this time he answered anyway.

“Lord Lirian does not seem to have abandoned this idea of his.”

You nodded slowly.

“That’s why his daughter is here, right?” you asked in a whisper.

Caspian reluctantly nodded.

“I think so,” he breathed.

“What are you going to do?”

He struggled to swallow.

He didn’t want to scare you away…

“I’m going to court you.”

You frowned hard, looking up at him.

“I thought we were over 'courting’,” you said, almost hurt. “I thought we were already beyond that point.”

“I mean… _officially_ court you.”

Your eyes widened slightly as the realization stroke you, your lips parting.

“Oh…”

Caspian anxiously stared at you, holding your chin to force you to meet his gaze. But no other words would pass your lips.

“I don’t mean to go too fast, and I don’t mean to scare you,” he said slowly, his tone calming despite the fear you could read in his eyes. “I… We would deserve to take our time, all the time you would need… But I’m not sure we have much time left. And if I officially court you…”

“That will make me her rival, and the favourite,” you finished for him, your tone a bit bitter.

But Caspian shook his head.

“It will make you the woman I have choosen and am trying to convince to choose me as well.”

A small smile appeared on his lips, his stare more tender now.

“Which is… quite true.”

You shook your head, chuckling, your cheeks covered with crimson shades.

“You don’t need to convince me anymore,” you said, intertwining your fingers with his. “I’m already yours.”

He grinned, but his smile faded slowly at the sight of your expression.

“Are you mine?” you asked in a shaking whisper.

His hold on your hand tightened.

“You know I am,” he answered, and you knew that he meant it. “I’m all yours. I’ll always be.”

You met his lips half-way as he leaned down to kiss you, and your lips remained sealed for a long while, until you both desperately needed to breathe again.

He fell into your eyes again, knowing by the way you had kissed him back that he had eased your mind, for a part at least.

“Come with me to the ball,” he breathed.

Your eyes grew wide again.

“What?” you asked back.

“Would you accompany me to the Christmas ball?”

You started to nervously laugh.

“But Caspian… I’m not supposed to be at the ball… I’m supposed to be cooking… It’s not my place…”

“It is though.”

“No… I’m just a cook, Caspian.”

“No, you’re not. You’re much more than that. I can see it, why can’t you?”

“But Caspian I don’t know how to do those things…”

“I’ll teach you. I’ll teach you before the ball. Just like you taught me to cook apple pies, remember?”

You chuckled, feeling tears blurring your eyes.

“I… I know that you love your work,” Caspian said softly. “And I would never want you to give up on your passion, Y/N. But as you keep on reminding me, I am King. And I have to go to the Christmas ball, welcome all these lords and important people and pretend to have fun all night long, and dance with the rest of the guests. And I would very much like to dance with the woman I love this year.”

Your eyes softened.

“Are you sure that’s what you want? People will keep on talking…”

“Good. Wonderful! That’s exactly what we need! Then everyone in the kingdom will know how I feel for you. And Lirian and his daughter won’t be able to do anything against us anymore. Trust me on this, Y/N. As long as I am not officially courting anyone they think they can have a chance to convince me. For now they’re taking their time, thinking that Clarissa has no woman to worry about. We need to act first, take the first step by making our love official before they manage to find a way to get the upper hand. The ball is the perfect occasion to reveal everything to Narnia.”

“Are you sure that’s what you want?”

He nodded.

“I want you,” he stared intensely at you, making sure that you would see the truth in his eyes. “All of you. And I want everyone to know that you’re mine, and that I’m yours as well. I’m not saying that it’s going to be easy. There will be rumours, and you will hear lies but… I need you. I’m ready to face all of it. Are you?”

You were terrified at the idea of all in the Castle - actually, of all in _Narnia_ \- learning about you and Caspian. You were afraid of the stares, and the rumours, and the mean words that you knew would follow you across the corridors as soon as the truth about you and Caspian would be revealed. But you loved him so much… you knew it was now or never. Before Clarissa could make a move, or her father could force Caspian into a bargain he had no way to refuse. If you wanted to have him, you needed to face this tidal wave now…

“Let’s do it then,” you nodded. “I trust you.”

He grinned.

“Are you certain?”

But you nodded.

“You’ll tell me what I have to do at this ball, right?” you asked, and he could see that you were already nervous.

“Of course I will. Can you dance?”

“A bit.”

“We’ll have a little repetition before the ball, okay? I’ll ask for a dress to be made for you as well.”

“A dress?”

He nodded, a grin on his face.

“It’s time you shine out just as much as your heart beams, Y/N.”

————————————————————-

You let out a laugh as Caspian finally opened the door of his chamber, letting you out after several hours spent talking together.

He kept on holding your hand in his large one, showing you that he didn’t want to part.

“It’s very late,” you whispered.

“You should take some rest.”

“We’ll see each other tomorrow then?”

“I’ll ask for a dress to be made for you tomorrow morning. It should be ready on time then. We have just a few days left before the ball.”

You nodded, and he let your hand slip through his calloused fingers.

“Good night, my love,” he whispered.

You grinned, blushing but not caring about it this time.

“I like this nickname,” you breathed.

“It suits you.”

He placed a chaste kiss on your forehead, before taking a step back, letting you go.

“Good night, Caspian.”

“Nice dreams…”

You smiled, turning around and walking back towards your room. Caspian watched you until you disappeared around the corner, and he walked back into his chamber, closing his door behind him.

And none of you noticed Lord Emras watching the scene through the shadows…


	8. News And Rumours

“Watch your steps…”

“Sorry… again.”

“It’s okay.”

You blushed fiercely, trying to get away from Caspian’s arms that surrounded you, imprisoning you in a warm embrace. He was trying very hard to teach you how to waltz, but you were just awful at it…

“I thought you said that you knew 'a bit’ how to dance,” he chuckled.

“I wasn’t thinking about that kind of dancing, obviously.”

“You’re thinking too much.”

“Without music, it’s not easy.”

He rolled his eyes, tightening his hold on you to prevent you from escaping.

“You think too much,” he repeated, ignoring your remark. “That’s why you fail. Because you keep on trying too hard.”

“I don’t want to make you feel ridiculous…” you admitted.

You heaved a sigh. You had been unable to find any rest the previous night after you left Caspian’s chamber. You were too nervous for that. The more you came to think of it, the more this idea of his to invite you to the ball seemed completely crazy.

You were not used to all this, you didn’t feel comfortable in those shoes : you belonged in a kitchen, not in a ballroom surrounded by judgmental people you didn’t know.

“You’re not going to be ridiculous.”

“I don’t think I can do it…”

“Of course you can.”

He was looking at you with eyes so full of love that you felt your heart melting under his chocolate brown gaze.

“You underestimate yourself, and you think too much,” he repeated. “Close your eyes.”

“I’m going to step on your foot again.”

“You’re not going to step on my foot again,” he shook his head. “Close your eyes.”

You did so, heaving a sigh. Your heart rushed under your ribs as you felt him leaning down to whisper in your ear.

“Trust me. You can do it. Just follow me. Will you follow me?”

You nodded, your thoughts blurred by his scent of leather, fire and spices.

“Anywhere,” you whispered, and you could feel him smile against your skin as he dropped a sweet peck on your temple.

“Then, just follow my steps. I’m guiding you. Just follow.”

You nodded, waiting for him to move. He pushed you ever so slightly, just enough to make you back away. He did it again. And again. After a few minutes, you were both twirling through the room, dancing to a silent melody that your two hearts could hear anyway. Suddenly, you were not worried anymore. It was just Caspian… You and Caspian in this warm room was all Narnia, and all the infinity that came beyond. Everything had shrunk until it fitted between his two arms you were trapped into. And you felt so happy… as if there were no worries to have anymore, all that was evil in this world had suddenly disappeared, all your fears fading away as Caspian held you close to him, close enough for you to feel his heart beating against yours. His scent made your head spin, your thoughts coming to a stop instead of buzzing through your mind.

For a few minutes, you and Caspian were just dancing in the ball room, alone, happy, oblivious of the rest of the world.

His rhythm slowed down and down and down… until the two of you were barely moving at all, but holding onto each other tight.

He let go of your hand to wrap both his arms around you, and heaved a content sigh.

“Let’s stay like that for a little while,” you whispered, nuzzling your face on his shoulder.

He pressed his lips against your hair, breathing deeply your scent, trying to remember it, to make his lungs full of it until it saturated his senses.

“Let’s stay like that forever,” he whispered back.

“I would love that.”

You heaved a sigh, opening your eyes to look up at him and pulling away just enough to meet his gaze.

“It’s dawn already though. I have to head to the kitchen and get breakfast ready for the entire Castle. And you need to get ready to meet Lord Lirian and his daughter.”

He groaned, pulling you back against him.

“Just one more minute.”

You chuckled, kissing his chin.

“Caspian, I need to go. And you need to go as well.”

He heaved a sigh, but didn’t release you.

“I guess you’re right. I mean… you did manage to waltz.”

You laughed.

“I did!”

“Told you that you could do it.”

“That’s because I have a good teacher.”

He smiled, resting his cheek against your hair.

“That’s because you keep on underestimating yourself. But you’re amazing, Y/N. You truly are. You must not doubt that.”

You lifted your hand to rest on his cheek, your fingertips brushing against his short beard.

“I love you.”

Your voice was a warm whisper barely audible, just enough for Caspian to catch it and treasure it.

“I love you too, Y/N.”

And you both knew that you had to break this embrace and walk away. But it took long minutes for the two of you to finally find the strength to do so.

—————————————————–

“You had assured us that there was no other woman!”

Lord Lirian was angry, infuriated even. By his side, his daughter was close to tears, holding her dress in her clenched fists to try to contain her disappointment and frustration.

She had a rival…

“I don’t know who this girl is, but I’m sure it’s nothing,” Emras tried to reassure the Lord.

“People in our land start to give up on this idea. They are starting to think about other ways to ensure trades between our kingdoms. But if they can’t reach their objective in terms of low taxation, they will fight!”

“I know that an arranged marriage is the best and safest solution,” Emras nodded.

“That’s why Lord Ciran refused to come in the end, and I and my daughter had to replace him. Because all in my land start to think that the King will not yield.”

“I’m sure he will accept the truth.”

“We cannot go through another war. We have lost enough men already.”

“I agree. And I can assure you that the King agrees with you on this as well. He seeks peace.”

“Then he has to accept! It’s the only bond that will be strong enough to ensure peace!”

Clarissa walked towards the window of her large bedroom. She watched the snowflakes slowly falling upon the gardens, covering naked trees and bushes with white icy coats.

She was not the kind of person to give up so easily on what she wanted. And now more than ever, now that she had seen him in real, had seen his dark hair, his tall silhouette, his warm brown eyes… what she wanted was Caspian.

A devilish smile appeared on her pretty face.

“I’m going to ask him to accompany me to the ball this morning then.”

The two men still seating next to the fireplace behind her frowned hard.

“What…? Didn’t you hear?” her father argued.

“The King has not made any announcement yet, has he?”

She slowly turned towards the two men again, this evil smile still on her lips.

“Do you really think that he could reject a guess? In those dark times, it would be seen as rejecting an occasion towards friendship between our countries.”

Emras and Lirian nodded slowly.

“He will probably not risk it,” Emras nodded again. “It could work.”

“My daughter is so clever,” Lirian smiled proudly, before turning towards Emras, the same twisted smile than his daughter now on his lips. “Let’s ask him then. At breakfast. As soon as possible.”

———————————————————————-

“Y/N!”

You spun around, tearing yourself away from the fruits you were cutting in pieces, preparing breakfast for the Ladies and Lords of the Castle.

“Alejandra is sick. Looks like this bloody weather has not finished to take down all the ones in kitchens yet. You’ll have to serve in her stead. You did a great job with the King a few weeks ago, I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

“Yes, Mrs. Eliza.”

“Get ready.”

“Yes, Madam.”

You arranged your hair and dress. You couldn’t allow yourself to make a mistake, you were to walk before the Lords and Ladies of the Castle, but before the guests from the Northern realm as well. You knew that there was tension between them and Caspian, no matter his reassuring words. There was no need to increase these tensions by being clumsy.

“You’ll serve Lady Clarissa. She’s one of the guests, do you know who she is?” Mrs. Eliza asked you, helping you cleaning up the flour on your sleeves.

“Yes, Ma'am. I know who she is.”

“She’s very important, so don’t mess it up.”

“I won’t.”

A few minutes later, you were carrying a tray with a cup of the best Narnian tea prepared to Clarissa’s liking (two sugars, no milk), some pancakes, jam and fresh fruits.

You took your place in the line before the door. Soon, you were walking towards the main hall.

It was still a sight to see : the decorations, the snow falling outside and covering the windowpane with frost, the warm fires, the candles… You loved this place.

You looked across the large table, your eyes resting on Caspian for a moment. He seemed to feel your stare upon him, as he looked away from Lord Lirian sitting on his left, to raise his eyes towards you.

He stopped speaking in the middle of a sentence at the sight of you, too surprised to keep a logical train of thought. He wasn’t expecting to see you there…

He kept on staring at you as the Lord spoke to him, but Caspian couldn’t hear him. Like every time you walked into the room he was in, all Caspian’s attention was focused upon _you_ and only _you._ You put down all the food on your tray before Clarissa, but the young woman didn’t acknowledge your presence at all, too busy starring at Caspian with eager eyes. You felt so angry at the sight… but guilt came rushing soon as well. These were not feelings you were used to…

You made a movement to walk towards the wall where you were to wait for any order, but Caspian’s voice soon reached your ears.

“Thank you, Y/N.”

You looked at him, and the two of you exchanged a bright smile. But you turned away again, quickly feeling the piercing stares of Clarissa and her father set upon you.

You took your place next to your colleagues, your back against the wall and a small pot full of tea near at hand, in case Clarissa wanted more. And the dull wait started…

But you couldn’t help to look at Caspian from time to time. He looked so much like the King he was then. He was more like a normal man when he was with you, almost shy, kind, soft… But now he was precise in his choice of words, not stuttering. He stood tall and kingly, not in a relaxed fashion. Upon his lips was stuck a polite smile, not the bright grins he seemed to keep only for you.

You understood then the words he had spoken right after the two of you had met. In the kitchen that night of your encounter, or on the rooftop he had guided you to. This will to be himself, instead of wearing a confident and determined mask all the time, to be merry instead of always polite, to show weaknesses instead of being always strong…

This side of him was a facade, although still part of his personality. Only, it was exaggerated, expensed to a point where the man was hidden behind the throne he sat upon.

You smiled at the thought that, although you respected and liked the King, you loved the man.

During the meal, the conversations seemed to go smoothly across the long wooden table. Caspian stuck to the polite words and small smiles despite the bad jokes of his guests. This time, none of their references to war, to marriage, or to stupid jokes on Narnians seemed to annoy him. He didn’t mind. His eyes kept on drifting towards you, and it was enough.

You were not paying much attention to the conversations that flooded across the large room either. Not until Caspian suddenly frowned.

“Yes, of course you and your father can attend the Christmas ball,” Caspian nodded slowly.

But his voice was suddenly cautious instead of coldly polite. You frowned, wondering what could be the reason for his change of tone.

You clenched your jaw as Clarissa rested her hand upon Caspian’s. Your heart was suddenly pounding, anger twisting your stomach.

You had never been jealous before, but you already knew that you didn’t like feeling this way at all.

“I was wondering, Your Highness,” the Lady went on, her voice made of poisoned honey. “In the name of this newfound friendship between our Kingdoms, and as a symbol of this alliance… perhaps we could go together to the ball.”

You gasped, your eyes growing round. You were lucky the kettle rested at your feet, if you had been holding it in your hands, it would have crashed onto the floor by now.

But Caspian took his hand away from hers quickly, and you could see anger painted on his features too. He clenched his jaw, his dark brown eyes travelling between the Lady and her father.

“I think I was clear about this offer of yours, concerning marriage,” Caspian started, but was soon cut off by the Lord.

“My daughter is merely offering to accompany you to the ball. To show to all in our two Kingdoms that the negotiations are going well.”

Caspian seemed to struggle to stay calm. After a while, his voice rang in the large hall again. By then, everyone in the room was listening to this conversation.

“I see,” Caspian said slowly, his voice cold but he could refrain his anger for now, although seeing clearly through Clarissa’s game. “Well… I am terribly sorry, my Lady. But I am already going to the ball with someone.”

Your heart stopped altogether, a sudden wave of panic making your whole body shake.

You waited for what would happen next, hoping Caspian would find a way out of Clarissa’s demand, but terrified at the idea that he could mention you.

Clarissa and her father both quirked an eyebrow.

“Oh…” she breathed, both curious and disappointed. “But you have made no official announcement.”

“I had planned to make an announcement at lunch, actually.”

“I see… But then… as no official announcement was made, you can still change your mind…”

“I’m afraid I will not change my mind,” Caspian replied, and you saw his right hand shaking under the table while he kept a blank expression onto his face.

“But…”

“I am certain that you can see that I cannot break the promise I have made to someone else.”

“Who could this mysterious woman be?” Lirian asked with interest, not trying to conceal his curiosity.

Caspian threw a glance at you, but didn’t answer. This wasn’t the way he wanted your relationship to be announced, and you knew it. You could read in the way he clenched his fist and the way his eyes searched desperately for a way out that he meant for the announcement to be made in other circumstances, better circumstances…

But he was pressed on, and he couldn’t find any other way out of it.

“Your Highness… I wish you could reconsider my offer,” Clarissa went on. “And also, I would be glad to learn who this lucky woman is. If there is any…”

Caspian narrowed his eyes.

“I am no liar,” he said, his voice more kingly than ever.

“Who is she then?” she challenged back.

Caspian suddenly stared at you. Right at you. It wasn’t a discreet glance, barely noticeable, this time. This time, he was staring at you, his eyes never faltering nor trembling. And all in the hall followed his gaze.

“Actually, she is standing right behind you.”

Clarissa frowned hard at the King’s words, turning around on her chair. She searched through the room, but the only person behind her was… _you_.

She chuckled.

“I beg your pardon?” she asked back.

You were frozen on the spot. All your colleagues, all the Lords and Ladies, even Mrs. Eliza, were staring at you.

You felt your cheeks and neck warming up, your palms becoming wet. You didn’t like all this attention. You didn’t know what to do, how to respond to Caspian’s words, how to fight back all those prying eyes…

You were starting to seriously panic, feeling your heart rush into your chest, your thoughts swirling through your mind, tears stinging your eyes.

“If you do not want to accompany my daughter, there is no need to find yourself some fake excuses,” Lirian spat, clearly hurt in his ego.

But Caspian stared back at the elder man next to him, and the Lord could see that there were no lies nor traces of bluff in the King’s eyes as he answered.

“It is no excuse. I have asked Y/N to accompany me to the ball yesterday night and she accepted.”

“But she… she’s just a… servant!” Clarissa tried to protest, clearly outraged. “She’s… scum…”

“Don’t you ever say that again!”

Caspian’s voice was shaking with anger, his tone deadly cold and his loud voice echoing through the silent hall. The glare he sent her could have killed.

But the words had hit your ears all the same, and you could feel tears dangerously close to escaping…

“Y/N.”

You turned towards Mrs. Eliza, as did all in the room.

With a mere nod, she commended you to exit the hall, and you complied, looking down at you feet, your shoulders bent and head low, your fists clenched on your apron.

She accompanied you outside, and for the first time, her voice was soothing, almost reassuring.

“It’s going to be okay, child.”

She heaved a sigh, shaking her head as she walked back to the kitchen with you.

“By Aslan’s name, child… what have you gotten yourself into…”

————————————————————–

The rest of the meal was filled with silence. Caspian left as soon as he could. But when he opened the door of the kitchens, not even bothering to knock on the door, the room was already swarming with people.

All in the room froze at the sight of the King though.

“Leave us alone,” Caspian ordered.

He didn’t need to mention who he was talking about. In just a few minutes, the rumor had spread through the castle like a ripple on a calm lake. Everyone knew already…

They all walked outside the room, leaving you alone with Caspian. You didn’t move, keeping your back to him.

You didn’t want him to see that you were crying.

“Y/N?” he called, coming closer.

He saw your shoulders shaking as a silent sob crossed your frame.

“Y/N… I’m sorry it happened this way…” he breathed.

He stood right behind you, not daring to touch you for now, afraid he would make your tears fall even more.

“I didn’t want all this to happen this way,” he went on. “Y/N… nothing she said was right.”

“It was though,” you whispered.

You sniffed, letting out a sob that made you lean against the table before you to keep your balance. And Caspian held your upper arms to make sure you would not fall. His warm hands were so reassuring, resting on the fabric of your dress…

“Y/N… It wasn’t true. None of it. Y/N, you’re amazing…”

“No, I’m not!”

You were shouting, spinning around to face him.

Caspian had never heard you shout and he found himself completely lost. He was used to this soft and tender side of you, not this raging storm before him.

“She was right!” you went on, but your voice didn’t remain so loud for long. “I’m nothing. I’m not a Lady, nor a princess… I’m just a cook! We don’t belong together, Caspian!”

“Don’t say things like that,” he breathed, holding your arms again. “Don’t. It’s not true.”

“It is! You belong with a princess, or a lady. Just like Clarissa… not a cook!”

“It is my choice to make, Y/N.”

“It’s not what is best for you. You deserve better.”

“I could never have better than you. I couldn’t Y/N. How could I have better than the woman I love?”

“You shouldn’t love me. Clarissa was right, I’m just… scum…”

Another sob made your knees weak, but Caspian wrapped his strong arms around you, not leaving you a choice but to be trapped in his warm embrace.

“It’s not true. Y/N!” he said firmly, and you could hear that he meant it, every single word of it. “Clarissa was just being mean. She doesn’t know you at all though. If she did, she would know that you are worth more than all the stars in the sky. You are brighter than the sun, and softer than the breeze, and stronger than steel. You are wonderful. You are all I have always been looking for. You are everything to me. Do you understand? She was just angry because I rejected her, Y/N. But her words are mere lies. Her voice tastes like poison. Have you noticed it?”

You nodded, burying your face in Caspian’s shirt.

“Rumors will spread. You’ll hear all kind of stories,” Caspian went on, stroking soothingly your back to help you calm down, his other hand running through your hair. “You must ignore them. I know it’s hard to. I know you’ll hear terrible things about me, about yourself, about us… but they are all lies, Y/N. They are just rumors, people talking about lives and hearts they know nothing about. You must ignore them, Y/N. All that you must remember, and always keep in both your mind and heart, is that I love you. I love you, Y/N. And my feelings are true, they are earnest and unbreakable. No matter what people try to tear us apart, I will not let them. Do you understand? I will not let them break us.”

He held your face in his large hands, forcing you to look up at him.

“I am yours,” he said softly, his gaze full of truth. “All of me, body, soul and heart, all is yours. And it will not change. This is all you need to believe in. Y/N?”

You nodded, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him closer to you again, your head finding back its place upon his shoulder as he closed his arms around you once more.

Slowly, you calmed down, letting the warmth from Caspian’s body along with his scent and his slow caresses across your back lull you to rest. You relaxed, tears drying slowly on your cheeks. And you knew that this place in Caspian’s arms was where you belonged and longed to be.

Were you ready to face the storm that would come with it though?


	9. The Second Christmas

You stared at your reflection in the mirror, barely recognizing yourself. Or well… your face was still the same but your hair was elegantly tied up in a bun, and your body was covered with a dress of satin that embraced your curves perfectly. Standing there in your bedroom, you stared at the complicated broderies, the silvery threads shining upon the dark blue dress. The fabric had almost the colour of the inky sky. You grinned to yourself.

You felt beautiful…

The past few days had been pretty intense. As a cook, you had a million things to prepare for the ball that would celebrate the countdown to Christmas. But as the woman accompanying the King, you had learned to dance, and to stand properly, and to bend like a lady before mighty Lords…

It was exhausting. You fully understood why Caspian longed so much for instants when he could be himself, without worrying about the protocol. And to be fully honest, you were not sure to be able to handle all the pressure that came with all of this…

First, there were the rumours. You had heard a fair amount of nasty things these past few days, Caspian had been right when he warned you that lies would be flooding across the Castle like rivers ran to the coast after heavy rains.

_Y/N? She’s nothing…_

_The King only used this servant as an excuse._

_The King was clearly out of his mind._

_Perhaps she’s a witch who put a spell on the King._

_The King is no better than the ones who sat on this throne before him and this slut is just one of his whores…_

You took a deep breath, pushing these thoughts away.

Caspian and you were not playing any kind of game, and you knew it. He loved you. It was obvious. His eyes carried his words even better than his voice, his tender gestures were clear signs. He loved you. And Aslan knew… you loved him with all your heart, every fiber of your being was full of love for him.

He didn’t know you had been crying every night since the announcement though.

You knew that you should have ignored these lies, you were aware of the poison in their words. But clearly, the poison was efficient nonetheless. You didn’t know for how long you could handle all this anymore…

You heaved a sigh. Caspian was certain that things would get better after this ball. The Realm and its inhabitants needed to see how true your feelings were, that was all. The rumours would die out then, when all would finally realize that Caspian would never change his mind. At least, that’s what he thought. You were more perplex though.

You jumped as someone knocked on the door of your chamber.

You took another deep breath. It was time. You needed to get out of this safe room and face all those people who seemed to hate you…

But Caspian would be there with you. It would all be fine. Caspian was there…

You strode to the door, gathering your courage before opening the door.

You froze at the sight of Caspian standing on the threshold, and he remained motionless as well as his eyes landed on you, his jaw dropping.

He was so handsome in this auburn velvety suit, and this large white shirt…

You looked up at his eyes, but didn’t meet his gaze. His chocolate brown eyes were roaming your body, drinking you in. If he had been able to think, he would have stopped himself from looking at you this way, respectfully keeping his gaze to your face. But his brain had stopped for a while now. You were too stunning for his mind to keep on making thoughts, it was all blank, only filled with you…

His eyes slowly traveled up again, to find you flustered.

He blushed fiercely as well.

“Y/N… I…” but his voice broke.

He couldn’t find a way to breathe. You were literally breathtaking.

“Do you like my dress?” you asked shyly, clearly insecure now.

He smiled.

“You're…” a whisper was all he could summon. “You’re simply… perfect…”

You smiled.

“Really?”

He nodded.

“You’re extremely beautiful, Y/N.”

“You are very handsome as well,” you smiled, your cheeks on fire.

“Thank you.”

The two of you exchanged a smile, before Caspian would offer you his arm.

“Are you ready, my Lady?” he asked you.

And there was no humour in the title he used to call you. To him you were a Lady, a real Lady, more than most of the women who were born to wear the title. You smiled, nodding, and closing the door behind you.

You enlaced your arm with his, and let him guide you towards the ball room.

“I know you are nervous,” he said warmly. “But I’ll stay by your side all along. You have nothing to fear.”

“Don’t leave me alone.”

“I won’t.”

You took his hand in yours, holding his fingers tightly. You were not nervous actually, you were bloody terrified.

“It’s all going to be fine, Y/N. I won’t let anyone be mean to you. And if you feel uncomfortable there, we’ll leave, okay?”

You nodded.

“Thank you so much, Caspian. I know it’s important for you to make a good impression tonight and I just hope that I won’t be a disappointment.”

He laughed.

“You could never be a disappointment. I’m the one who should be thanking you. I know it’s hard. All the rumours, the glares… I know that you didn’t sign for this when you chose me. But there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m King, and this weight upon my shoulders that comes with this title can never be lifted off of my shoulders and carried by someone else. Not for as long as I live. And now that you’re here with me, I hope it won’t happen before we have spent a whole lifetime together.”

Your heart skipped a beat at his words. They were earnest, and full of meaning. He was confessing feelings he knew you might not share. You loved him, but to what extent?

You smiled.

“That’s all I wish for myself, Caspian,” you whispered, and his hold on your hand tightened. “A chance to spend my life with you.”

He stopped right before the corridor that would lead the two of you to the ball room. The passage was dimly lit, and still deserted. When he looked at you, he had tears in his eyes.

“I’m so happy you feel the same as I do,” he whispered.

“You know I do, Caspian.”

He leaned down to capture your lips with his in a tender kiss. You let go of his hand and freed your arm to wrap it around his neck while your other hand travelled through his hair. You were soon pressed against him as he wrapped his arms around you.

“You are stunning tonight, Y/N,” he whispered against your skin as he bent down to bury his face in the crook of your neck. “Although, you are always beautiful.”

“This dress does miracles then?”

“No… it just enhances what I already saw in you. But I reckon that everyone is going to see it now as well, not just me. Which… might not be a good idea after all…”

“Why not? Having second thoughts?” you asked, only half-joking.

But he laughed your remark away, stroking soothingly your back.

“Of course not,” he chuckled. “But with this dress… all the men in there will notice you and I won’t like it…”

You laughed.

“What now? I didn’t know you were jealous, Caspian.”

“Well, me neither. I wasn’t, before meeting you. Now… I could probably start a fight…”

“Don’t be silly,” you giggled.

“I’m serious!”

But you merely laughed in response, before being interrupted by the sound of footsteps coming your way.

You and Caspian reluctantly broke away, and you took his hand again.

You walked towards the large doors of wood that were already open. In the ballroom, many of the guests had already arrived, and were chatting, drinking some red wine. You followed Caspian’s lead as he walked without a hesitation into the large room. You let the scent of food and wine fill your lungs, the warm light of candles and torches illuminating the richly decorated room. The Christmas decorations were shining with thousands of colours under this light. The Narnian tune played by the orchestra was making you want to dance with Caspian already.

For a moment, you were too impressed by your surroundings to notice that everyone in the room had fallen silent at the sight of you and Caspian walking in. You first noticed this feeling of being watched actually, and soon came to realize that everyone in the room was staring at _you_.

You blushed fiercely again, but followed Caspian, being careful at keeping your back straight and your chin high just like you had been told to. You tightened your hold on Caspian’s hand as Lord Lirian and his daughter welcomed the King first.

“Your Highness,” he bent, Clarissa following her father’s lead. “What a brilliant celebration you have here! I am thrilled that both me and my daughter could attend.”

“I’m glad you could come, my Lord,” Caspian answered, nodding back to Lirian. “Well… I’m sure you remember Lady Y/N, right?”

“Lady?” Clarissa asked in a bitter tone.

You stared back at her, forcing a smile to your lips.

“It’s a pleasure to see you again,” you said, and couldn’t help but feel proud of yourself for not stuttering.

But Clarissa didn’t answer you, and merely turned to Caspian instead.

“I’m sure you can save a dance for me, Your Highness,” she requested.

“We shall see,” Caspian answered elusively.

“The night is till young, there is plenty of time.”

But Caspian was tired of this little game of hers. And he was tired of remaining polite with her when he reckoned that she deserved a lesson.

“I’m afraid I already have the perfect partner for a dance, Lady Clarissa. Now, I hope both you and your father enjoy this evening. If you would excuse us…”

But before any of them could reply, he had guided you away.

“Are you alright, my love?” he asked in a caring voice.

But you nodded reassuringly.

“Thank you,” you smiled.

“I told you, I’m keeping you all for myself tonight.”

You exchanged a bright smile, and indeed, for as long as you politely greeted guests, Caspian never let go of your hand.

The night was starting to fly by already when Caspian was finally done with the hypocrite smiles and the handshakes. He walked to one of the tables set near the walls, and picked up a piece of this chocolate cake he had asked you to prepare for this event. It seemed so long ago already…

“Now… this is delicious, Y/N,” he smiled, taking another piece before turning towards you again.

You giggled, picking up a piece of the cake as well.

“I’m glad you still like it this much.”

“More than ever. It reminds me of that night… do you remember?”

“How could I forget?”

He brought your hand to his lips and kissed it gently.

“Well, my love… would you like to dance?” he proposed.

Next to you, the two Ladies who had been whispering froze at the sound of the petname Caspian had used.

“I would love to, darling,” you grinned, nodding.

He guided you to the center of the large room where some couples were already dancing. But they all stopped as you and Caspian approached.

He rested his hand on your lower back – a bit lower than he had during the repetitions, you noticed – and you rested your own on his broad shoulder.

A new song started to play, and Caspian made a movement to start dancing, but you looked down at your feet as you almost stepped on his foot already.

You blushed fiercely, but he merely chuckled, stopping his movement altogether.

“Here you go again. Just look up at me, love.”

You raised your eyes to meet his brown ones.

“I’m guiding you. Just follow me, okay?”

You nodded, locking your eyes on his and knowing that you had to never let your stare falter if you wanted to survive this dance with him.

And when he moved again, you followed his lead. In just a moment you had forgotten the crowded ballroom, the couples who had resumed their dances, the candlelight, the decorations… everything had vanished beyond Caspian’s glance. It was so warm and tender… oozing with love, and you knew that you were looking up at him the same way.

If only this moment could have lasted forever… the oblivion brought by his eyes and his embrace enough to bring your heart all the happiness it desired.

But only too soon, the music faded, the song coming to an end, and you reluctantly stopped dancing. Caspian kept you close to him for just a few seconds longer, and you knew that he didn’t want to let go. But you were not alone this time, and he didn’t have a choice but to break his embrace.

You exchanged a smile.

He wanted to take you for a walk now, he knew you were not enjoying the evening so much because of all these stares set upon you. But he didn’t have the chance to make you his offer, as Lord Emras stood next to the two of you.

“Your Highness, Lord Lirian requires your presence, I think he wants to discuss an important matter with you. Perhaps I could keep Lady Y/N company while you attend your duties.”

Caspian heaved a sigh, his gaze full of hesitation as he looked at you again, but you nodded your head with a reassuring smile.

“You should go, you are needed elsewhere, Caspian.”

“It won’t be long.”

You nodded again, and he gave your hand a squeeze before turning around and walking towards the Lord and his daughter.

“May I have the honour, my Lady?” Emras offered you his opened hand.

You blushed slightly. It felt strange to accept to dance with another man than Caspian, but you reckoned that the protocol required you to accept the Lord’s offer, so you slipped your hand in his and let him slowly dance with you.

“So… you are a cook, aren’t you?” Emras asked.

His tone was nonchalant, the tone of a pointless discussion, but you were not so naïve as to believe in his careless tone. You were certain that he was more dangerous than he seemed to be.

“I am, indeed,” you nodded.

He tried to pull you a bit closer to him, but you kept a fair amount of distance between your two bodies.

“I wonder… how you and the King did meet? And how… did you make him fall for you?”

You didn’t like this sudden accusatory tone of his.

“I did nothing to _make him fall for me_ ,” you snapped.

“But you think that he does have feelings for you, don’t you?”

“I know he does. He does have feelings for me. And I have feelings for him as well.”

“I see…”

He remained silent for a moment, and you held his prying stare.

“I do not think that you manipulated him…” he said slowly.

“Of course, I didn’t!” you protested, outraged.

You took a step back, trying to move away from him, but he only strengthened his hold on you, preventing you from escaping.

“You know that this relationship with the King is doomed though. Do you not?”

You tried to scowl at him, but you couldn’t. Because of all the doubts in your heart and mind, you tended to even agree with him.

“I thought so. You are wiser than you look like.”

“Caspian loves me. And I love him,” you tried to defend yourself.

“Love? That’s a strong word.”

“I know the way I feel…”

“But do you know the way he feels as well?”

“He told me. Multiple times. And there were no lies in his eyes, I know he spoke the truth.”

Emras stared at you for a moment, but he knew that you were not telling lies. It was all true. He hadn’t really expected to have to fight against something as strong as love. But you obviously were in love with the King. And he was beginning to think that Caspian loved you as well.

He hated to be that man, the one to break hearts. But the safety of the Kingdom depended on it, and he would have done anything to defend Narnia.

“Y/N… I know that you think that Caspian has only eyes for you. That his feelings are true. But they are not. It’s just a phase of his, it will pass…”

“You’re lying!”

You tried to move away again, but he kept on holding you too tightly, and you were afraid of making a scene and humiliate Caspian.

“Do you really think that you are the first woman the King shows any interest in?”

You froze, staring at him. You were trying to read through him, but couldn’t figure out if he spoke the truth or not.

After all, Emras was a good liar…

“I…” you tried to protest, but there was too much doubt in your mind already.

You felt insecure, he had seen it in an instant. You were such an easy prey…

“He will soon show no interest in you anymore. I’m sorry, if he made you believe that you were special. But you’re not special, Y/N.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“We both know you do though.”

You stared at each other in silence for a few seconds, but your throat was too tight for you to speak.

You didn’t want to believe it. With all your heart, you were trying to push the thought away. But it was already too late. Seeds were planted in your mind and doubts grew out of it too fast for you to remain logical.

“You seem to be a good person, I can see it now,” Emras added, his voice softer than before. “I don’t want you to end up broken-hearted because the King has found a new toy in you…”

“That’s not true! It… It’s not what it is about between us!”

“To you, no. But to him… How can you know?”

Your eyes drifted across the crowd to set upon Caspian. He was still talking with Lord Lirian and his daughter, and you couldn’t help but notice how close Clarissa was…

“We both know that all this is not real, Y/N,” Emras went on. “You’re a cook. It’s a noble profession, but it can hardly be compared to a Queen…”

“I don’t want to be Queen,” you admitted in a breathy whisper.

“You were not born to be one,” Emras reassured you. “You can be proud of your work, Y/N. But this world the King lives in is not yours. You don’t belong there, Y/N. You’ve seen it, haven’t you?”

You were close to tears by now, your eyes still resting on Caspian.

“The King belongs with someone of his rank. Someone who will be able to understand his duties, what it means to be King, and will be able to wear the title of Queen. You deserve to find love, Y/N. But whatever is happening between you and the King… it’s not really love. He’s just curious. He’s curious because you are not what he is used to. He is used to meet Ladies and princesses, women he deserves. But you are not like this, and that’s what intrigues him. But his curiousity will fade, Y/N. And he will break your heart. He did so to other women before. I don’t want you to be hurt that way. You know what needs to be done.”

A tear rolled down your cheek.

“You need to stop all this,” Emras went on, knowing he had already won the fight. “While you still have time. While you still can. Before it’s too late for you to save yourself. He might look like it hurts… and maybe it will hurt him, but it’s for the better. You know it, Y/N… I’m sure that deep down, you’ve always known.”

You closed your eyes, but Caspian’s silhouette bathed in candlelight was still painted on your closed eyelids, like a ghost haunting you down…

“You need to let go…” Emras’s voice sounded from far away, and yet painfully echoed in your heart. “For your sake. But for his as well. He’s about to make a huge mistake, Y/N. If he breaks trades with the North, it will mean war all over again. Do you want that to happen?”

You shook your head.

“I thought not. Well… then you have to take your distance, and make him see that he belongs with a woman of his rank.”

“But he loves me…” you whispered, a last spark of hope slowly burning out but still hot enough for your heart to survive on it.

“The King still has much to learn… love is one of these things he can’t understand yet.”

“What do you know about how he feels?” you asked back, looking up at him again.

You were crying by now, but couldn’t find a way to care. You were barely aware of the salty drops rolling down your cheeks. You were struggling against yourself too hard for that, your heart torn apart between doubts and faith…

“I have been by his side for a while now,” the Lord answered. “Who do you think takes care of shushing rumours about women he sees?”

Your eyes grew wide, tears only falling more down your cheeks.

“Y/N… you’re not what is best for him. And he is not the best for you either. Leave him, while you still have a chance to spare your heart…”

The music stopped, the silence that came with it seeming sudden to you, but you finally managed to get away from Emras hold.

But his poisoned words had reached your heart and soul already, and it was too late…

You strode across the room, looking down at your feet in an attempt to hide your tears.

Caspian saw your form moving across the room so fast, a mere form all draped in dark blue moving through the crowd. He frowned hard, knowing right away that something was wrong.

He excused himself and didn’t wait for Lirian to answer before striding after you.

“Y/N!” he called once he had reached the corridor.

But you kept on walking down the corridor without a single glance over your shoulder towards him.

“Y/N!”

He had to run after you, finally catching your arm, to bring you to a stop. He forced you to turn towards him. He clenched his jaw in anger at the sight of tears on your face.

“What did they tell you?”

His voice was colder now, but you didn’t answer.

“What did they say? You know… it doesn’t even matter. It’s just a lie. Y/N, it’s not true. You’re amazing. You’re perfect…”

But you shook your head, clenching your jaw as well.

“I’m not, Caspian.”

“Of course, you are, my love…”

You winced at the nickname, and Caspian frowned.

“I’m sorry, I should have remained by your side all along…”

“No… it's… I’m so lost…”

You kept on crying, and Caspian made a movement to wrap his arms around your shaking frame in an attempt to comfort you. But you didn’t let him, pushing him away.

“How many women have you called this way before me?” you asked him, your tone more bitter than you intended.

Caspian frowned hard.

“I… why are you asking me this?”

“Answer me.”

“No… no one, Y/N. You… you’re the only one…”

You clenched your fists as well, staring at his now puzzled expression. He didn’t seem to understand what you were talking about. But you were too lost to know who to believe anymore.

“What’s wrong?” he asked softly.

“I don’t know… I’m not like that, Caspian. I can’t handle all this…”

You nodded towards the direction of the ballroom, but Caspian shushed you when you opened your mouth to speak again.

“I know it’s hard for you, and I know that you are making huge efforts for me. I know it. I’ll repay it one day, I promise. We can leave the ball if you want, it was already brave of you to come with me…”

“No, you don’t understand! I _can’t_ do it! I can’t! It’s not me! I’m not happy like this!”

Your words pierced his heart like cold daggers.

“I thought you were happy with _me_ …” he breathed.

But you shook your head.

“I don’t know anymore… I don’t know…”

“This evening was intense for you,” Caspian tried to cool the situation down. “Perhaps you should get some rest. You will feel better tomorrow.”

“I don’t want you to break my heart…”

“I won’t. Y/N, I won’t. I promise. I love you.”

You brushed another tear away.

“I can’t pretend to be someone else, Caspian. And I’m not a Queen,” you said firmly, despite your wet cheeks, and he knew how serious your words were. “I don’t think we were meant for each other…”

“Y/N! Don’t say things like that!”

“It’s the truth! It’s just a dream… all this… it’s just a dream, Caspian. We can’t be together…”

“Of course, we can. We can be together, we just need to fight hard enough for it. I need you. I will fight until my last breath to spend my life with you.”

“Caspian…”

“Why are you saying all this anyway? I thought you loved me as well.”

“I do, Caspian. But the world is not ready for that. And no matter if you’re King, you can’t fight the whole world on your own.”

“For you, I would.”

You shook your head.

“I need some time to think this through…” you breathed.

“What do you mean?”

“I need to be alone for some time.”

He slowly nodded.

“We… we’ll discuss this tomorrow then, after a good night of sleep…”

“It will take more than a night, Caspian.”

He looked at you with eyes full of fear… the fear of losing you…

“How long then?” he asked, but you merely shrugged.

“I don’t know. The time it takes me to come to a decision.”

“A decision?”

“About us.”

Tears started to shine in his eyes.

“Don’t do that. Don’t leave me…”

“I need to think…”

“What did they tell you? Who spoke to you? I can’t be… before the ball you were ready to spend your life with me…”

“But then I was blinded. By you. By how sweet and kind you are with me. But being with you involves more than that. And I can’t take it…”

You shook your head.

“I need some time. Please, I need to be left alone.”

Caspian didn’t try to stop you when you walked away. And you were too busy hiding your tears to notice that Caspian was crying as well. He rested his back against the nearest wall to keep his balance as you disappeared around the corner. He had not cried that much since he was a little boy scared of the dark…

You didn’t stop walking, almost running, before you reached your chamber. You closed the door behind you, finally letting out a sob as you didn’t need to control your appearance anymore. You could let the mask fall now, so you crumbled.

But you noticed a little box on your bed as you walked through the room to get rid of your dress.

You took it in your hands, wondering what could be inside. But when you opened it, you could only let out another sob.

It was the star you had seen in a shop in your village, the one to put on top of your Christmas tree. Along with the beautiful object, a little note rested in the box :

_For the brightest of all stars,_

_Merry Christmas, Y/N._

_With all my love,_

_Caspian X._

Your knees gave way under your weight, shaking too much now. And you were left sobbing on the floor of your room, the same question twirling in your head again and again…

What were you supposed to do now?


	10. Choices

Caspian waited patiently for an entire week. Gossips were running wild through the Castle about you and him, but he didn’t pay any attention to the rumours. What could he answer anyway?

Did he love you? With all his heart.

Did you love him back? He was starting to doubt that…

You told him that the problem came from the fact that he was King, but he wasn’t sure anymore that it was the only reason. Perhaps it came from him too…

He started as Emras rested a hand on his shoulder.

“Your Majesty, if I may…”

“Did I forget something?”

“The meeting with the generals, Your Majesty.”

Caspian slowly nodded, rubbing his tired eyes. He had barely slept since the ball. And barely eaten at all as well. And the signs of his sorrow were becoming more and more visible as every hour passed and the exhaustion was clearer on his features.

“Is there something wrong?” Emras asked softly. “Something I can do?”

“No… no there’s nothing you can do,” Caspian whispered.

He frowned slightly, turning towards the window next to his desk, and losing himself through the paths of the gardens covered in white snow. The wind roared through the branches of the nearby trees, but he could have sworn that it made the same sound as your laughter…

“How long… if someone asks you for some… time,” Caspian stuttered, but too desperate now to feel embarrassed by his question. “For how long are you supposed to wait?”

“I… don’t understand…”

“If a woman asks you for some time to think, for how long are you supposed to wait before going to her?”

“Oh…”

Emras shrugged, feigning embarrassment, when he was just satisfied. It meant that his plan had worked…

“As long as she needs,” he answered.

Caspian heaved a sigh.

“Is this about… the woman you brought to the ball?” Emras asked cautiously.

“Don’t repeat that to anyone, not a word, Emras. That’s an order.”

“Of course, my Liege.”

Caspian swallowed hard.

“I don’t know… I think I’ve done something wrong. Something that upset her but I don’t know what.”

“I see. Did you try to apologize?”

“Of course. She… she told me that she needed time but it’s been a week and still… I have no news from her. Do you think I should go and see her?”

“No, I think that you should respect her will for time and space. You might upset her even more if you go to her. I don’t pretend to be an expert…”

Caspian had stopped listening, and Emras knew it. But then, something that he had not foreseen happened, and the Lord was so taken aback, that he let out a gasp.

Caspian started to cry.

They were silent tears rolling down his cheeks and into his short beard, but salty droplets nonetheless. He was still standing straight before the window, his dark eyes set upon the falling snowflakes, but his lips were trembling.

And then the truth hit Emras harder than a punch in the face.

Caspian loved you.

It was obvious then. It was painted on all his features, it was drowning his brown eyes, it was held in every droplet running down his cheeks… Caspian was in love with you.

And Emras was breaking his King’s heart…

But did he have any other choice? Another possibility? He knew Caspian and many others in the realm refused to see it, but the truth was, war was on their doorstep. A marriage was the safest way to ensure peace. And for his country, Emras would have done anything.

He had always thought that Caspian was just courting you for now. That he would soon get over you, and would learn to… get accustomed to Clarissa.

But perhaps he had been wrong about Caspian and you. Perhaps you were right that night, perhaps he did love you that much…

“Your Majesty?” he called softly.

Caspian didn’t move, nor dried his cheeks. He merely answered with a hoarse voice drenched with tears.

“Yes?”

“What about the meeting?”

But Caspian shook his head.

“I’m not sure I can handle that right now…”

The King seemed to lose his balance, and leaned over his desk behind him for support.

“I’m not sure I can handle all this…” he breathed.

“I… I understand that you are going through a difficult time, but Narnia needs your command.”

Caspian shook his head.

“I can’t do it.”

“My Liege, you must!”

Caspian dried his cheeks, his movements slow, almost reluctant.

“Cancel the meeting, Emras,” Caspian ordered.

“But…”

“I can’t do it.”

“Your Majesty…”

“I understand that you’re doing your duty here, Emras. I really do. But unlike what most people seem to think in this Castle and beyond, I’m just a man. And I can’t take any more of it, or I will… break…”

He heaved a sigh, trying to force the tears to stop.

He was so scared to lose you, he couldn’t take any more of this…

“Clear this morning schedule,” Caspian ordered, standing away from the desk again. “I can’t take any more of this.”

“Your Majesty, with all due respect… your duties are more important than anything else. She is just a woman.”

Caspian frowned, taken aback.

“Have you ever been in love?” Caspian asked Emras in a soft voice.

“No, I haven’t.”

Caspian nodded.

“It explains things then.”

“What does that explain?”

“That you seem to think that I can carry on with my duties as if nothing was happening, when I could lose the person I love the most on this earth.”

Emras clenched his jaw, but Caspian went on.

“I know about my duties. I know what I must do. But for now, I can’t. I can’t do it anymore.”

“My Liege…”

“Stop calling me that!”

Caspian winced the moment the shout passed his lips. He slowly walked to Emras and rested a hand on his advisor’s shoulder, who was looking at him with eyes filled with confusion.

“Emras, I need some time to sort this out,” Caspian insisted. “And you need to stop acting like I can overcome everything thrown my way. You must realize that I’m just a man, Emras. And like every man, I have a breaking point… and I think I’ve reached it…”

Emras shook his head, unable to wrap his mind around the idea that his King could… for a moment… be weak…

“Cancel the meetings for this morning,” Caspian repeated.

He walked out of the room, but Emras couldn’t follow. For a second, he was just unable to move a single muscle. He just couldn't… he was too shocked to do anything at all.

Because for the first time since he had started to serve the King, he saw the man hidden under the shell made of steel he usually wore. For the first time, Emras didn’t see in Caspian the leader of Narnia, he saw the man he was meant to serve and help. He saw just how much Caspian was in pain. He also saw how strong the King had been before then to keep all this sorrow hidden.

And Emras suddenly realized that Caspian, like any other human being, could break. And that perhaps, he had caused the first crack…

—————————————————————–

Caspian took a deep breath. He was shaking from head to toe. Fear was tightening its hold on his heart. He knew that this might be his last chance to get you back.

And he had to get you back. He couldn’t live without you.

He finally raised his hand and knocked on your door.

He heard some shuffling inside the room, but the door didn’t open, so he knocked again, more loudly this time.

He heard the shushed sound of bare feet padding to the door, but was then only met by silence.

He knocked one more time, but nothing more happened, so he guessed that he had no choice left.

He didn’t bother to look around in case people would be passing by. He didn’t care. He didn’t care about anything anymore, anything but this fear that seemed to strangle him…

“Y/N, I know you’re in there. Can we talk? Just for a moment. Please…”

“I told you I needed time.”

Caspian closed his eyes, biting his tongue to refrain the wave of anger that suddenly drowned him. He was so sad… the pain turned out more bitter than what he meant.

“How long?” he asked softly.

“I don’t know…”

“You need to tell me, Y/N… What did I do wrong? I’ll make it right…”

“Caspian, stop it.”

“Open the door, please. I’m begging you…”

You heard that his voice was breaking, and you couldn’t just ignore him and push him away then. He seemed to be in so much pain…

You unlocked the door of your room, but fled his eyes as you let him in.

You stared at your shoes in an almost sheepish manner, closing the door again.

“Can we talk? Please?” he asked softly, his voice a mere whisper.

It took him all his strength to rip this question out of his chest despite his breaking voice, despite all this fear…

He didn’t know if he could fix everything with words, but he didn’t know any other way.

He raised his hand to cup your cheek, forcing you to look up at him.

“What did I do wrong?” he asked softly.

His eyes were reddened, dark circles above his cheeks. You knew he had been crying. And he read the same signs on your face.

“You did nothing wrong,” you shook your head. “But it’s not… I can’t handle this life.”

He nodded slowly, looking for an answer, a solution, a clue, a lead… anything…

“Well… we can take things slow…”

“Caspian, it’s nothing you can do. It’s everything around you. You said it would get better after the ball, but it didn't… and the rumours are still running loose through each corridor I walk into, and the whispers follow me everywhere…”

“I’ll make it stop.”

“How will you do that?”

“I… I’ll give orders.”

“Caspian, you know it won’t work.”

“I know how hard it is to ignore them, I know it…”

“I can’t do it.”

He closed his eyes, heaving a sigh.

“I… I don’t know… but you… we…”

“Caspian…”

“We can fight for it.”

You looked down at your feet again, despite his gentle hold on your face, and he narrowed his eyes at you.

“There’s something else, isn’t it? What is it?”

You looked up at him again.

“How… how many women did you court before me?”

Your question came bluntly and out of the blue, and he was stunned by it.

“What?!” he frowned.

“How many women did you… seduce before me?”

“Seduce?”

“Answer me.”

“No… no one.”

“Do you promise?”

“Yes, I promise. But what… what does that have to do with anything? Why are you asking me about this again? You already asked at the ball…”

“I heard stories…”

“They were all fake. Are you… doubting me?”

“I’m doubting everything these days.”

Your eyes drifted to the bed behind him, and he followed your gaze before you could look away.

His eyes grew round in fear and shock.

You were packing, clothes and belongings scattered on the bed along with three large bags…

He felt tears watering his eyes again, and he let out a shocked, loud breath.

“You’re leaving…” he whispered.

“I need some time away from all this…”

“So that’s it then? That’s it, it’s over?”

“Caspian…”

“Don’t leave! If you leave then it means that you’re giving up! You can’t give up! I’ll find something, Y/N…”

But you shook your head.

“Caspian, I need…”

“I understand. I understand that you need to think, that you’re lost, but you don’t get that it’s killing me!”

You didn’t answer, merely looking up at him while his voice turned from a begging whisper to an angry shout.

“It’s hurting me too, you know?! Do you think that I enjoy all these stories I hear about you and I?! Do you think I enjoy listening for hours about how terrible of a King I am for refusing to marry Clarissa…?!”

“Well, perhaps you should marry her then!”

Your words were sharper than daggers as they pierced his heart. You didn’t realize their weight as they passed your lips, but once they reached his heart, you could see just as much they hurt him. And you wanted nothing but to take them back.

But you didn’t. Instead, you merely stared back at him.

“I don’t know what you want me to do,” he said, his voice trembling, but not coming out in shouts anymore.

He just seemed so confused…

“Caspian, I need some time to figure out what I want, what I’m ready to do… I still love you, I’m just… not sure to be strong enough to handle all this…”

“I want to fight…”

“But I’m not sure I can.”

“You’re just underestimation yourself…”

“What if I can’t be happy in the end? What if I can’t just… fight… I need to figure it all out. I’m too lost right now, everything… everything around me is spinning and I can’t stop it. I need some time alone, to think this through. I’m going back to my parents’ house for a week.”

He nodded slowly.

“But then… what will happen? When you come back?”

“I don’t know yet.”

“Are you going to… stop seeing me?”

“It's… I hope not.”

“But it’s a possibility, right? You’re thinking about doing it. You’re thinking about breaking up with me, right?”

You slowly nodded.

“I don’t know yet…”

He brushed his fingers against yours, but didn’t hold your hand in his, thus turning the gesture into something that looked like a goodbye, instead of an attempt to hold you back.

“Well, I hope you find that out.”

Before you could reply, he was striding out of the room.

You slowly walked to the door, resting your forehead against the wooden surface while you started to silently cry.

And on the other side of the door, Caspian was leaning against the wood, tears falling down his cheeks.

————————————————————–

Caspian walked through the corridors. He seemed… distraught…

All who passed by him looked at him with wide eyes. They were used to see him standing tall, his dark hair always falling gracefully over his warm and benevolent features.

But now his shoulders were bent under an invisible weight he seemed too fragile to carry, his hair was a mess, and his face was covered with tears.

He didn’t pay attention to any of them though, instead, he strode aimlessly through the Castle, until the frozen wind hit his wet cheeks and brought him out of his torpor. When he looked up, he realized that he was in the gardens.

He kept on walking a bit further on. The cold was biting his skin, leaving it reddened, but actually, he found out that it helped. The physical pain was turning his attention away from the sorrow in his heart.

A sudden impulse made him take off his boots, and he walked barefoot in the snow, the ice burning his skin, but he barely noticed. Everything felt numb through all this pain.

His eyes roamed through the bushes all coated with white powder, the naked trees cloaked with snow. The world around him, from the ground under his feet to the clouds above his head, was completely white.

No joy was brought to him by this magical sight though.

He didn’t turn around when he heard someone hurrying towards him. He hesitated to run away. He couldn’t handle anything more right now… he just wanted to be left alone…

All the world around him was white, and indeed, it seemed to him that his life was colourless without you. He couldn’t imagine happiness without you being the reason for his joy…

“Your Majesty! What are you doing here?! You’ll be sick, you don’t even wear a coat!”

Caspian remained motionless as Emras finally reached him.

He noticed that Caspian was barefoot in the ice.

“My Liege! Your boots!”

“She’s leaving.”

Emras looked up at the face of his King, covered with tears and snowflakes staining his beard.

“She’s leaving, and I couldn’t hold her back… I couldn't… I don’t know how…”

“Your Majesty, what if we talked about this together, just you and me? But inside the Castle, where it’s warm. In your office, perhaps?”

“She… she’s so lost and… I don’t know what to do to make her see that she’s everything… that I would do anything…”

“Caspian, let’s get inside. You’ll tell me everything, and we’ll figure something out.”

The King nodded, but he didn’t put his boots back on, so Emras picked them up and followed him back to the Castle.

They walked in silence to Caspian’s office, and Emras guided the King to the fireplace, so he could warm his frozen feet.

“So, tell me what happened?” Emras encouraged Caspian, sitting in a chair next to him. “You went to see her?”

Caspian nodded slowly.

“She… she doesn’t know how to handle it all… the rumours, the gossips, the attention, the duties… and… perhaps I should have done more to help…”

“I’m sure you did all you could.”

“She… she’s leaving. She’s going back to her parents’ for a week, to figure things out…”

Caspian’s lips trembled, he shook his head, his dark eyes fixed upon the dancing flames in the hearth.

“I can’t lose her,” he whispered. “I can’t live without her. It’s like… like she’s everything… from the air in my lungs to the smiles on my lips and my dreams at night and if she disappears… How can I breathe without air? How can I be happy without the reason for my smiles? How can I live without dreams?”

“Perhaps you’re overreacting for now, under so much emotions.”

But Caspian shook his head again, and when he spoke once more, Emras knew that his king was speaking the truth.

“No, Emras. I can’t live without her. Do you understand? It’s like… I was surviving before meeting her, and now that I had a taste of what it is to _live_ … how could I just go back to surviving when I know that there is so much more?”

Tears formed in the Lord’s eyes. It was so hard to see Caspian this way. He had always seen in him the strength of steel. Flawless. Dedicated to no end. In Emras’s eyes, his King was undefeatable, unbreakable, he was the leader he was ready to die for.

And seeing this man he admired so much in such pain was unbearable…

“Perhaps I didn’t fight hard enough…” Caspian mumbled under his breath. “I… perhaps I should tell her again, how much I love her… perhaps it’ll be enough…”

Caspian nodded, one last glint of hope passing through his eyes.

“Yes! I’ll just… I’ll write it all down. So she can read it there, when she needs to think. Yes!”

He stood up in a hurry, staggering upon his numb feet, but reaching his desk all the same.

He seized a parchment and a quill, along with some dark ink. He was about to write the first word down, but he looked up at Emras first.

“Could you give it to her? In person?”

“Before she leaves?” the lord asked.

“No… perhaps not, she seemed too upset… In a couple of days, at her parents’ home. When she is calmer again.”

Emras nodded.

“Of course, my Liege.”

Caspian gave him a smile in which he seemed to have gathered all the hope he had left.

“Thank you, Emras. I trust you. I know you will bring her this letter. My life depends on it, but I trust you with it.”

The Lord bent slightly, trying to hide the tears glimmering in his eyes in his reverence.

And without wasting one more second, Caspian started to write.

————————————————————————–

Emras was looking at your carriage as it slowly moved away from the Castle. In his hand, he kept the letter Caspian had entrusted him to deliver to you in a couple of days.

The hesitation was pure torture.

In one hand lied the future of the kingdom, its safety, its prosperity. Lord Lirian and his daughter were starting to lose patience. They would soon ask for a final decision. They would soon ask the King to choose a wife. This very morning, Lirian had urged Emras again to hurry, to convince the King, to get rid of you.

And he had made it. You were running away through the snow, to the safe home of your parents, running away from the hell he had built for you in these walls.

But on the other hand… there was Caspian. And now that he had seen how desperate the King was and how true his love for you was, Emras started to slowly understand why Caspian refused to marry a woman he felt nothing for. And Emras had sworn an oath to protect his King just as much as his realm.

Could he destroy Caspian’s happiness?

He stared at the little letter he held in his shaking hands, Caspian’s seal closing his last attempt to bring you back to his side.

And the hesitation was pure torture.

Would Emras keep the letter for himself, condemning your love for good?

Or would he bring Caspian’s last declaration to you before it was too late?


	11. The Last Letter

You had left the Castle three days before. And Caspian felt more desperate than ever. Not just because you were gone and he had no news from you, but also because Lord Lirian was more menacing every day. And despite the hope he kept on safely cradling in his heart, this crazy hope that you would come back in time, this crazy hope that he would have the choice… he could feel deep down that very soon, he would have to give up.

Lord Lirian was growing impatient, and had started to threaten the King of Narnia with words of war and conquests. Unless Caspian married Clarissa, building an alliance between their lands that went much further than a few papers signed in the trembling lights of candles. And there was not only Lirian, so many Lords thought that Caspian should choose a wife. To the Lords, at the exception of Lirian, it didn’t have to be Clarissa, but they pressed Caspian to choose a wife. And if you didn’t come back before he was forced to make a choice…

He would lose you forever.

Unless he could ask you to marry him first. He wanted to. He had wanted for a while now. He knew you were the one. He knew he would love you until his last breath, until the very last beat of his heart would echo through his bones. He knew you were the only woman he would love until death would finally take him. He wanted you to be his just as much as he was ready to become fully yours. He wanted to be your husband, and he wanted you to be his wife.

But you were not there… and time was running and running and running, and now, he didn’t have enough time left.

Caspian heaved a sigh, standing still before the hearth, the warm flames spreading towards his tired limbs and painting crazy forms against his motionless frame.

He was so tired… He was so lost. His heart yelled at him to wait, to keep on hoping. But his head was advising him to choose the safest path for his people. So many people were looking up at him to protect them. He had seen enough war, he didn’t want to meet it again.

And yet your face was constantly before his eyes, a picture he couldn’t shake away. He loved you so much, perhaps too much… how could he live without you?

He turned his eyes towards the window of his office, resting his gaze onto the frozen trees and bushes covered with snow. By now, Lord Emras would be at your house. And Caspian had just a bit more than a day before being forced to make an official announcement in which he would reveal the name of his future wife…

————————————————————

Emras walked towards your parents’ house without hesitation. He still had the letter Caspian had written in his pocket.

He had thought about this for hours and hours, the fight raging in his own head depriving him of any rest. But he had come to a decision, and there was no turning back now.

He knocked on your parents’ door, ready to do what he had to. He was taking a risk. But it was worth it, he knew it.

Your father opened the door and bent before the Lord as he recognized his rank, but Emras was in a hurry.

“I am here to see your daughter, in the name of King Caspian the Tenth. May I see her?”

“Of course, she… she’s in her bedroom,” your father answered.

“Thank you.”

“Would you like something to drink or…?”

“Thank you, but I am in a hurry, I’m afraid.”

“Of course…”

Before his host could add anything, Emras was striding inside your room. You jumped as the door suddenly opened, sitting up in your bed and hurrying to dry the tears that stained your cheeks.

Emras froze for a moment, staring at the sadness painted all over your features. And it was all his fault if there was so much sorrow on your graceful frame, he knew it.

He just thought that he was doing what was right…

He closed the door behind him and sat down next to you on your bed without asking for your permission.

Here, it was the moment. He had taken his decision, he knew what he had to do.

He had to repair what he had broken. For the sake of his King. For the sake of this man he loved like a brother and respected more than anyone in Narnia. For the sake of this man he trusted with his life. He had to repair what he had broken, before it was too late.

He took the sealed envelope that his King had entrusted him with, and he handed you the last hope that Caspian had left for you to come back to him.

“This is from the King. He asked me to bring it to you.”

You slowly took the letter in your hand. You seemed terrified, by both the Lord sitting before you and the envelope between your fingers. You seemed so fragile then.

“I’m sorry,” Emras apologized in a shaking voice. “I’m sorry, for what I said that night, at the ball.”

“Did Caspian ask you to apologize?” you asked, your tone more bitter than you intended.

“He doesn’t know that I spoke to you that night at all. He doesn’t know anything. He doesn’t know what I’ve done. And I’m sorry. Because by then I thought that the King needed to marry Clarissa, that it was the best that could happen to Narnia. But I’ve seen how broken he is now that you’re gone. And he could never rule Narnia like this. I could never…”

His voice broke, and he had to clear this tightened throat to keep on letting out the words he longed to speak.

“I could never let him sacrifice his own happiness for Narnia. He has sacrificed many things for his people already. But I can’t let him sacrifice his love for you.”

You started to cry again, silent, salty tears rolling down your cheeks.

“I lied,” he admitted, guilt filling up his gaze. “Caspian never showed any interest in any woman before you. Not under my watch at least. Which means… not since he became King. And that was a long time ago. I never had to shush any rumours, because there were none. I never had to cover up anything, because the King has never acted in a way that would bring shame to his name or to the throne. I was just scared. I was scared for the safety of our Kingdom, but I was a fool. I can’t break his heart. The King… I’ve seen what your departure did to him. It broke him. I am one of his closest advisors and yet… I had never seen him cry before. It broke something inside him…”

Emras heaved a sigh.

“Please… he doesn’t have anything to do with what I told you, and all the words I spoke to you that night were lies. And if you come back to the Castle, you will not have to fear rumours or whispers again. I will make sure that no one speaks badly of you and the King.”

“Why? Why would you do that?” you asked in a trembling voice.

“Because Caspian said he couldn’t live without you. And I believe him.”

He shook his head, heaving a sigh.

“I didn’t think his feelings for you were so strong, I thought it was just a crush that time would brush away like wind carrying fallen leaves across a quiet garden. But I was so wrong. I saw how much pain it brings him to see you leaving him. He told me how much he loves, how much he needes you. And I believe him. I really do believe that his happiness depends on you. And how could Narnia find a better Queen than the woman who will make the King happy for the rest of his reign?”

He heaved another sigh, nodding towards the letter your shaking fingers still held.

“Caspian asked me to give you this. He wrote it for you. Please, read it. Please, come back to him. You won’t have to fear anything anymore, I’ll make sure of it. But you have to hurry, if you choose to come back with me to the Castle.”

“Why?”

“Lord Lirian and his daughter have been relentless. The Lord is now openly threatening the King to start a war if he doesn’t choose a wife. Many Lords across the Kingdom agree with the fact that Caspian should take a wife, and ensure the inheritance of the throne by having an heir. Lirian wants Caspian to choose his daughter, although the other Lords are not specific. Caspian has stated that he would give his answer at dusk, tomorrow night.”

“His… his answer?”

“The name of the woman he would marry. He will announce the name of the woman he will marry and share his life with tomorrow at twilight.”

Your lips trembled and eyes grew round in horror.

“He would never force you to marry him if you didn’t come back to him. You know that he is too much of a good man to do so, even if he loves you and would do anything for your to be with him. He would never force you. And if you are not back at the Castle tomorrow at dusk, then Caspian will have no choice but to marry Clarissa. And we both know that he doesn’t love her.”

You were shaken by a sob, and Emras rested a reassuring hand on your shoulder.

“You need to read Caspian’s letter. I’ll wait outside. Tell me when you’ve come to a decision. If you are willing to come back to the Castle and to stay by Caspian’s side, then I will accompany you back there myself. I already have a horse ready for you.”

He stood up and walked out of your bedroom again, closing the door behind him. He left you alone sitting on your bed, crying, Caspian’s letter still held in your shaking hands, in the middle of this room that had watched you grow: take your first step, learn to read and write, play as a little girl and daydream about the day when you would become a cook for the King…

Your eyes fell on the envelope, your fingers travelling across the red seal. You took a deep breath, before breaking the piece of wax.

You summoned your courage, before diving into the words written on the page in Caspian’s elegant handwriting.

And the more you read his words, the more you cried.

_My dearest Y/N,_

_I know that you asked for more time. I know that you need to gather your thoughts. This is my last attempt to keep you by my side. And if these words can’t convince you of how true my feelings for you are, then I will have played all the tricks I had up my sleeves, and I guess that nothing that I would ever try would work and bring you back to me._

_I know that the rumours are evil and mean. I know that you have never done anything to deserve all this hate that is thrown at you. I know that loving me means much more than just holding my hand, it means holding my crown too._

_I do not pretend to know everything that you have heard. I should have tried harder to make the rumour cease. But Y/N, you know that I would never lie to you. So please, I am begging you now to believe in the words I have written down on this parchment._

_I love you, Y/N. I fell in love with you that night in the kitchen when you baked that chocolate cake. I fell even more in love with you on that rooftop watching the world covered in snow. I just kept on falling in love with you harder and deeper every time we met. And I don’t think that I will ever touch the bottom of this well, and to be fairly honest, I don’t want to. I would gladly spend my whole life falling more and more. I want to have the chance to fall deeper in love with you every day until my last breath. I need you by my side. I can’t keep on surviving now that you have showed me what it means to live. I wish I could repair the whole world for you. I wish I could protect you from every single thing that could hurt you in any way. I would be happy to spend my whole life trying to make you the happiest woman in Narnia. And if you choose to stay, I will never stop trying to fix the whole world for you._

_I have never loved any woman like I love you. I have never courted any other woman but you. I do not want to ever court any other woman but you. I just want to make you happy for the rest of both our lives. I only want to love you and cherish you until Aslan decides that it is time for both of us to depart for his sacred land._

_I know that you keep on underestimating your value. You do not see yourself through my eyes, but I wish that you could. Because then, you would see how kind and gentle you are. You would see how strong you can be. How beautiful you are. How gracefully you move. How clever and funny you are._

_I will never love anyone else. My heart will always be yours. And if you choose to leave for good despite these words I have written here, then know that the shreds of my broken heart will still belong to you, not as bitter memories, but as the memories of the brightest star that has ever shown onto my life. Thank you, for showing me everything that I could become. Thank you for showing me that being loved for who I am despite this throne of mine was possible, that I could be loved for the man I am, and not for the crown on my head. Thank you for showing me what it truly means to be alive._

_But I love you enough to let you go, if that is what your heart longs for. I love you enough to break my own heart to save yours. And if this letter turns into a farewell, then I hope you find the man that will make you happier than I could ever have made you._

_Yours forever,_

_Caspian._

You were crying, but it wasn’t hurting anymore. Finally, pieces fitted together…

Emras had lied to you. Caspian loved you. He wasn’t using you like Emras wanted you to believe. He loved you like he had never loved anyone in his entire life…

And he wanted to spend his whole life loving you, no matter what could happen.

Caspian loved you, and he just had a few more hours left to choose who would become his wife. If you chose not to go now, the man who loved you would have to marry another woman that would never make him happy.

If you chose not to go now, the man you loved would have to marry another woman and you would never be happy.

You loved him with every fiber of your being… How could you let this happen, now that you knew the truth? Now that Emras’s poisoned words were gone from your mind and only the truth oozing from Caspian’s letter remained, how could you leave him?

You jumped out of bed, putting on your shoes as you realized that your tears now didn’t have the bitter taste of pain, but the sweet flavour of joy.

You grabbed your coat as you ran out of your room, crossing the living-room without a glance to your family, but with a smile on your face.

When Emras saw you opening the door, his eyes resting on your face, he didn’t need to ask you what you had chosen, he could read it all in your eyes.

He smiled back at you, a relieved smile full of hope, and he nodded towards the horse that was already ready for you.

You were coming back to the Castle, and this time, you wouldn’t let anyone poison your thoughts with lies.

This time, you went there to stay.


	12. The Announcement

Caspian kept on staring at the gates of the Castle from the window. The road covered with snow was scarred with the traces of the carriages and the many footsteps of all those people who had gathered now in the Throne Room to listen to the announcement that Caspian had promised.

He only had moments before being forced to get in that room and speak the name of the woman he would marry.

And you were not here…

After announcing the name of the woman he would marry before all the Lords, there was no turning back. If you came later, he would never be able to be with you anyway. By now, the sun was setting, painting the blue sky with red and golden shades that reminded him of battlefields. Licking the horizon, a trace of dark purple broke the glittering lights, premises of the coming of the night.

And you were not here…

“Your Majesty.”

Caspian didn’t turn around as he was called, he knew already the dreadful words that would pass his advisor’s lips.

“It’s time.”

Caspian closed his eyes, silently begging Aslan to make you come. You had to come…

“I’m coming,” he answered in a perfectly controlled voice.

But when he opened his eyes again, throwing one last glance over the frozen world at his feet, a tear was rolling down Caspian’s cheek.

You were not here…

—————————————————————-

The cold air was cutting your cheeks. The wind twirled around you, carrying snowflakes in its wake that burnt your face as they collided with your skin. But you didn’t mind the cold, nor the wind, nor the snow.

You were pushing your horse as fast as it could run. The sun was already starting to fall beyond the trees behind you, and you were so scared to arrive too late…

Caspian was right, you needed to fight to be by his side. You had let yourself be overwhelmed by his world unknown to you and the cruelty of it, to the point where you could do nothing but doubt your value. It was in your nature, to doubt your worth, to doubt yourself, but it had seemed that these people had read through you so easily, speaking right away the words that would hurt you the most.

But Caspian’s letter was awakening the reason behind all your actions since you had met the King that night at dinner. You just wanted to be with him…

Now that Emras had taken back his poisonous lies, there was no doubt left in your heart that Caspian loved you as well, and that his feelings for you were just as strong as yours for him. You felt like a fool for doubting him. You hoped you wouldn’t be too late, you hoped… you hoped he would forgive you…

The Castle came in view down the road covered in snow, and yet stained with the hooves of many horses and the wheels of many carriages that had carried what you guessed were all the Lords of Narnia who were able to reach the Castle under such a short notice.

Your heart was racing even faster than your horse was running. You were so scared…

You had suffered so much of those lies and rumours that had been thrown right at your face because you were just a cook and he was a King.

It had taken you a few days spent alone, the truth from Emras and Caspian’s confession to finally realize what the King seemed to have noticed since the very beginning.

You were more than a cook. You were the woman he loved.

And he was more than the King of Narnia. He was the man you loved.

And now, you were ready to fight for him, no matter what would happen, no matter the lies, you knew they would not reach your heart anymore.

You not just a cook standing trembling in the shadow of a King.

You were Y/N and you were ready to fight to keep Caspian by your side.

——————————————————————

Seconds felt like hours and yet Caspian longed to stretch this moment until it reached eternity.

He was right before the wooden door, about to step in that room and seal his future… his whole life depended on this moment.

He had to give these Lords a name. Too many restless people had risen across the whole Kingdom. He needed to get married. He had never thought that Narnia would need him to marry someone he would never love, but he had realized lately that no on seemed to care. He had pushed the thought away for months but had been forced to acknowledge it at the dinner you had shared at your family’s house.

The reaction of your family… they didn’t care about love.

_‘Could be worse than marrying a princess.’_

Your brother’s words echoed in his mind, but actually, right at that moment, there were only a few things that Caspian could imagine that would have been worse than marrying Clarissa. And all involved Narnia, not him directly.

He took a deep breath, nodding at the guard next to the wooden doors so he would let the King enter.

He had to do it. For Narnia… He would have done anything for Narnia, that was just one more proof, one more step he was taking against his own will, against his own sense of morality, for the people he was meant to guide and protect.

He just hoped that no one else in his Realm would ever have to face what he had to live now.

He thought that his heart had already been broken when you had left the Castle, and yet, the pain that numbed his whole being showed him that the beating organ in his chest was shattering even more.

He stepped into the room, walking slowly towards his throne, reluctantly, trying to buy just a few more seconds…

But eventually, his feet did guide him to the large throne, and he had no time left. The sentence had to be spoken.

He turned to the crowd gathered there and gave them a benevolent smile. He had to look kind. He had to look welcoming. He had to look like he was thankful to see all those Lords and Ladies gathered in his large halls. When really, he couldn’t help but hate them all for a moment. It was their fault he was standing there now, forced to throw his hopes of finding love away. And now they had come to look at the King as if they watched a show. Perhaps some of them expected him to break.

Well, if Caspian was already broken inside, he had no intention to show any sign of weakness. And indeed, he looked nothing less than kingly as he faced all those people who had gathered to see him.

As soon as he opened his mouth to speak, all in the hall fell silent.

“Thank you all, my Lords and Ladies, for coming here on such a short notice,” Caspian gave them a polite smile. “I know that there have been many reasons for worry to cross your minds these past few months. And I know that a part of these worries has been directed towards me. And it is my responsibility to lift these worries off of your shoulders. I know that many of you fear a new war with the Northern Lands, and are afraid of how the economics are going to evolve if we lose contact with this kingdom. But I am certain that we will find an agreement, and I reckon that enough blood has been spilled on both sides. There is no war in the horizon.”

A few whispers shook the crowd, and Caspian waited for his words to sink in. He wasn’t in a hurry, and patiently waited for silence to be back in the room. Actually… he didn’t want silence to come back, it meant that he had to continue his speech, he had to say these words that were breaking him.

With his small smile still on his lips, he went on anyway.

“Many of you have also been restless because they worry about the future of the Crown. About who will sit on this throne once I’m gone. And many of you have asked me to take a decision and to choose a wife. Your voices were heard, and that is precisely why you were called here today.”

There was a tension in the air, anticipation before the announcement of the name of the future Queen of Narnia.

And no one noticed that Caspian’s hands were shaking, his features were too much filled with kindness and authority and confidence for anyone to pay attention to such a detail.

“I have come to a decision,” he said slowly, forcing the words to pass his lips.

He knew that Clarissa was staring at him, along with Lirian. But for now, he couldn’t look at them. He wasn’t sure to be able to maintain such a fake expression if he faced them. So he merely let his brown eyes roam across the room instead, carefully avoiding where these two guests stood.

“The woman I will marry is…”

But he was interrupted as the two large doors opened with a loud noise, many whispers shaking the crowd again.

And Caspian’s jaw dropped at the sight of you hurrying in the room.

Your long cloak was still covered with snow, and so was your hair. You looked a bit disheveled, and frozen after a ride out in the snow.

You looked… perfect…

Your eyes finally met his, and he could read everything on your features and in your gaze without needing words to be exchanged. He knew you were here for him. He knew you had come to a decision.

He knew you had chosen him.

You threw a terrified glance in the direction of Lady Clarissa, and he knew that you were scared that he had already chosen her.

When your eyes met his dark brown orbs again though, he had a genuine smile on his face.

“… Lady Y/N.”

Everyone in the room knew who you were, after the Christmas Ball. But the shock on their faces was not diminished.

_A cook? The king was about to marry a cook?_

But in your head, you kept on correcting them all.

Caspian was not about to marry a cook. He wanted to marry _you_.

The King slowly walked across the crowd, that parted before him, until he was standing right before you.

“If she will have me, of course,” Caspian added with a questioning look on his face and a bit of apprehension in his eyes.

But you merely grinned up at him.

“Of course I want to marry you,” you answered loudly enough for all in the hall to hear.

There were tears of joy shining in your eyes, and you could see the same ones in Caspian’s stare.

It was a shared impulse that made you wrap your arms around him, and made him capture you in a tight embrace as well.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered in his ear while the whole crowd around the two of you cheered happily. “I’m sorry, I just felt so lost… I’ll tell you everything later…”

“Are you sure that you want this? That you want me?”

You closed your eyes, resting your lips against his earlobe, making sure that your words would be heard by no one but him.

“I’m sure. I love you. I understand now, what you were talking about. I’m sorry, I wasn’t understanding myself well enough, what you saw in me, I couldn’t catch a glimpse… But I see it too now. And I love you, Caspian, more than anything in this world. This time, nothing and no one will make me go away. I promise you. I promise, I’ll stay by your side, forever.”

You could feel him smiling against your cheek, and he tightened his hold on you. But he didn’t answer, so you went on with a scared voice.

“Are you angry?”

He pulled away just enough to look at you with this tender smile you adored, and there was so much love oozing from his gaze…

“No, I’m not mad,” he reassured you. “Although, I may use this situation to make me forgive you anyway.”

You both laughed, ignoring the people around you who kept on cheering.

“What does that mean? More cakes?”

He hummed in agreement, but he added something else with a mischievous smile that made his eyes shine.

“And probably a few kisses too.”

You both chuckled again.

“Well, then… perhaps I should start making amend right away,” you offered, your cheeks flushed, making you even more adorable to his eyes.

“Good idea, my love.”

And before you could reply, he was pressing his lips against yours, eliciting even more cheering from the crowd.

But to be fairly honest, you didn’t even notice the loud sounds. His kiss was much more important than the crowd, after all…

—————————————————————————-

You hummed out of tune a song of your own. The morning breathe was soft as it blew through your hair, coming inside the quiet kitchen by the window. The air was filled with the scents of sugar, spices and fruits. It was such a sweet perfume…

You were in your element, here, in the safety of the kitchen. You felt safe here, surrounded with fruits, vegetables, pans and spoons.

Behind you something fell down the table and you quickly turned around, looking at the little boy that stood on a chair, trying to reach the chocolate that was set in a bowl. He looked at you with a sheepish smile, but you merely laughed at the sight of the fallen apples.

“I reckon you’ve had enough chocolate for today,” you decided, taking the bowl away.

“But mummy, I love chocolate!”

“I know, darling. But that’s enough for now. Otherwise you won’t eat the cake we’ve made together!”

He pouted for a moment, resting his chin in his little palm. You ran a hand through his hair, that had the same colour as yours, and he looked up at you with these big dark eyes he had inherited from his father.

But your warm smile turned into a frown as you rested your hand on your swollen stomach.

“Is the baby kicking again?” your son asked with an excited voice.

You nodded and guided his little hand on the spot your baby kept on kicking.

“I can feel it, mummy! How long do we have to wait?”

“A couple of month still,” you answered.

“But I want it to be here now!”

“The baby has to grow still, it’s too little for now.”

The door behind you opened, but you didn’t need to turn around to recognize the rhythm of your husband’s footsteps.

He wrapped his strong arms around your frame, resting his chin on the top of your head.

“What about the cake?” Caspian asked his son with a warm smile.

“It’s almost ready,” the little boy answered. “We’ve put flour, and sugar, and milk and butter in it. And then we added apples and blueberries.”

“That sounds delicious!”

You silently guided Caspian’s hand upon your son’s so he would feel the baby kicking as well, and a large grin formed on his lips at the feeling of the little spark of life moving under his palm.

“Daddy, are you going to stay to eat the cake with us?” the five-year old boy asked almost shyly.

“Of course!” Caspian grinned, running a hand through his son’s curls. “How could I miss such an amazing cake!”

“It’s ready!” you chimed, turning towards the oven.

Caspian helped you put the cake on the table, making sure you wouldn’t burn yourself and getting this overprotective look on his face again. But you didn’t mind, you had learnt that there was nothing you could do to diminish his protectiveness towards you and your child.

He couldn’t help but smile at the sight of the cake, the pieces of fruit randomly thrown on the pie.

“You put the fruits on there, didn’t you, son?” he asked with a tender smile.

“Yes. Mummy wanted to order them very well, but I thought it was better like that.”

“Well you’re right. You know, when your mother and I had just met, she taught me how to bake apple pies. And I put the fruits just like you did.”

“Really?” the little boy grinned at the thought that he had done something just like his father would.

Caspian nodded.

“We both like rebel pies, I think,” he winked at his son, who nodded enthusiastically.

The three of you grabbed a spoon and ate the cake together.

After a few minutes, Caspian wrapped his arm around your waist to draw you closer to him, and he whispered in your ear, a bright smile on his face that radiated love and happiness.

“Did I tell you how much I love today, my darling?” he breathed.

You grinned, shaking your head.

“I don’t think so. Shame on you, my love.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll make amend,” he joked, making you both laugh.

But his expression grew more serious again, although not less happy as he stared at you.

“I love you, Y/N.”

You traced his jaw line with your fingertips, letting his short beard tickling your fingertips.

And you were just so happy, in this kitchen, with your family. You remembered how you had felt the first time you had seen him in this large room, sitting before his advisors while you served him some stew. You remembered falling for him right then, when his dark eyes that you adored had met your gaze for the first time.

And now, everything was bright and happy in your life. And it was all thanks to him.

“I love you too, Caspian.”


End file.
